Page 116 of Give Me Redemption

The knocking continues and I look over, seeing a woman in the bed beside me.

God, I don’t even remember coming here. I throw the covers off and sit on the edge of the bed, trying to gain some balance here. I exhale and reach for a smoke on the bedside table before sliding it behind my ear. I grab my black sweats from the floor and pull them on before walking to the door.

I clear my throat and open the door to Harrison.

“Hey,” I say, my voice sounding hoarse and raspy.

Shit. She looks like I feel, but I’m sure I look worse.

She pulls her shades up. “Hey.”

And then I remember the girl in the bed. Fuck, I hate Harrison is seeing this shit, but what the hell? This is me. This is the Jace everyone expects.

“Get out,” I tell the girl.

Harrison frowns as I move to the side and look back at the girl in bed.

She doesn’t move. “Now,” I say a little louder as I grab my smoke and place it between my lips. I reach my hand into my pocket, pulling a lighter out as the girl scrambles from the bed, hurrying to get her things as I light my cigarette. Ugh, I need something to make me feel better.

I feel like death.

The girl I brought home last night looks at Harrison like she’s my girl and she’s sorry she slept with me. I want to laugh, but my fucking head hurts.

I hit my smoke. “Come in,” I tell Harrison.

She gives me a funny look, like thanks for inviting her into Bryce’s place when she’s the one who belongs here, not me.

She’s right.

I push the door shut before I walk over and grab a shirt from the top of the dresser. I then reach over and start the record player sitting on top.

I dart my eyes back over to Harrison who slides her hands into her jeans pockets as I place my cigarette onto the aged wood, letting the burning end hang off the side so I can put my shirt on. Bon Iver sings “Skinny Love,” and it sets the mood in the apartment, matching how I feel on the inside.

Sad and hopeless as fuck.

Harrison’s eyes go to the cocaine and empty beer bottles. She’s judging me, I see it all over her face.

I don’t care anymore.

I lean down, picking up the rolled bill. I breathe in the white powder before tilting my head back and wiping my nose.

Instantly, my headache feels better. I feel like Denzel Washington inFlight, ready to take on the world now.

Grabbing my smoke, I put it between my teeth.

“Glad to see you’re alive,” she says. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

I think for a moment. She did try to call; they all did. Where is my phone?

And then I remember shattering it last night when I wanted to call Mich…Har…Dalton, whatever the fuck her name is.

“Broke it,” I say. “Gotta get a new one.”

She exhales and looks over the room, looking a little out of place.

Probably because Bryce isn’t here.

I fucked up. I let Dalton in all of our lives, only for her to destroy us.

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