It matters.
I came from dirt. I climbed over rubble and pushed aside self-doubt.
Shit, my dad died in a car wreck because of my strung-out mother who decided she no longer wanted a family.
I wasn’t supposed to have anything worthwhile.
But I did.
I had it all.
And now I have nothing.
My eyes go down to the hard tile. K passes through my mind. Her smile, her tears. Most of which I caused.
My heart jerks me up.
You have her, dumbass.
I think back on our conversation.
“I love you,” I say.
She shakes her head. “No, you don’t. If you did, this would be simple.”
I do love her, though.
God, she’s ripped my soul.
Even still… this isn’t easy for me.
I’m a stubborn motherfucker.
I’m an asshole, too.
And she seems to get the best and worst of me.
She’s been there since buildings across from the Ferris wheel and looking at night skies with no stars. She’s dealt with my fucked-up family drama and accepted the fact I’ve been breaking the law.
I smirk thinking back on that. Damn, I for sure thought she’d tell me to shut it down or lose her.
But she didn’t.
My girl is full of surprises and makes my heart fucking happy.
I was there for her through all that shit back in her hometown. Discovering her real father and burning down nightmares.
We’ve come so far. Miles from pent-up walls and scared to talk about the shit we’ve lived through.
We know everything now.
There are no secrets between us.
I lean my head back against the wall, exhaling as I do. I rest my elbows on bent knees and link my fingers together, running my thumb over my palm.
If I do this…if I give it all up, it won’t just be for my freedom. It’ll be for a life with my girl.
I’m going to make K my wife.