Page 15 of Give Me Forever Love

“Can I get you something to drink?”

I look down at the bottle of bourbon I stopped sipping on some time during the night.

“You should eat. Get something in you besides that,” she says. She doesn’t say it in a judgmental way, but mother-like.

Isn’t she playing mom to the wrong kid, though?

Her son’s in jail, and her other is God knows where, doing God knows what.

And she’s here looking after me?

It doesn’t make sense, and I find myself speaking before my brain can catch up.

“Why are you here?”

She’s fresh out of rehab. She’s in that new stage where they have all the hope of changing and doing the right thing, but as soon as they grow accustomed to that, the disease starts whispering from the darkness, ready to pull them back down with it.

And then the people who care are left behind, wondering what the fuck they did wrong.

“I heard what happened from Lee and I wanted to help.”

“You wanted to help?” I ask. “You thought coming over here and trying to shove food I don’t want down my throat is helping?”

She frowns.

“How about go find Jace and see what the fuck he’s doing. How about call your kid Bryce. You know, the one who helps every one of you in this sorry as shit family.”

Tears blur my vision. “I’m not your child. I don’t need your help.” I swipe angrily at the tears running down my face, and for the first time in my life, I need something that I’ve never considered before.

I need comforting.

I need someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me this is all going to be okay.

I want Bryce, but he isn’t here.

I knew this would happen.

I knew if I let myself need someone, they would disappear on me.

Leaving me a broken mess.

My chest aches as my heart cries. I cover my mouth, trying to catch the sob that releases. My vision grows hazier and I bend, letting sadness mix with heartbreak.

Devastation couples with exhaustion.

I hit the floor.

I jolt when I feel hands on me. Mary soothes me like a baby, wrapping me in her arms and I don’t even have the strength to pull away.

And as I shudder and release, I realize I don’t want to. My heart sighs contently, as tears river down our cheeks.

It’s happy to have someone here.

We both are.

__________

Mary keeps me company but doesn’t suffocate. Lee called and says he’ll be here any minute because today’s the day we should hear something about court. There’s been nothing from Jace, though, and I’m worried. He won’t answer my phone call; he won’t answer any of us.

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