Page 72 of Give Me Perfect Love

We’re dressed in our best to head to Claire’s work Christmas party. Atlanta traffic is busy as always, and to keep my mood up, I’ve had two shots of Fireball and a beer before I left the house.

“What time did this thing start?” I ask, shifting in the leather seat.

“Nine-ish,” she replies with a shrug.

“So, we’re thirty minutes late?” I say.

“Who cares. It’s not like I’m clocking in.”

I laugh. “Guess you’re right.”

I pull a small liquor bottle from my purse. “Take a shot with me,” I say, handing her one also.

She takes it from my hand and my eyes shoot up to the rearview mirror, wondering if this guy cares if we drink in here. He doesn’t say anything, so I guess not.

“To yet another Christmas together,” I say, tapping her plastic bottle with mine.

We both drink the bottles the fastest way we can, but it’s a struggle coming out of a tiny hole. I wince and she makes a face. “Well, that was gross,” she says.

“Yes, it was,” I agree. I take her bottle and put it back in my purse. Smoothing out my wavy hair, I exhale and look out the window.

“You need to eat more,” she says.

I turn back to her. “What?” I reply, wondering where this is coming from.

“You’ve lost weight, and I know it’s not because I haven’t been trying to feed you.” She looks down at my dress-covered body.

“I eat,” I defend.

“Not hardly. We’ve got a shit load of leftovers that I’m going to have to toss.”

I exhale, knowing she’s right. I haven’t been eating much. Food has just lost its appeal. “I’m just not that hungry, I guess.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.”

Most people would find it odd that their best friend is paying so much attention to their eating habits, but most people don’t have a chef for a best friend. Claire’s a great cook, and great cooks take offense when you don’t eat their good food.

“What are you saying?” I ask.

“I’m saying you’re putting yourself through all of this for no reason. I’m not blind, Kat. I see the way you’ve been moping around the house. If it’s hurting this bad, why are you doing it?”

“Because I can’t live my life like that. You’ve seen how he gets.”

“Kat, he’s not perfect, but he loves you.”

“So what? You think I’m fucking up here?” I can’t help but get defensive. Claire should be on my side, and from the looks my two best friends gave me the night Bryce beat that guy up, I thought they were.

“I think you’re scared. I think you’re running away from someone you love because you think he’ll eventually do that to you. You can live life like that. Not everyone is like your mom.”

“Let’s not call her that. Her name is Bethany.”

“Okay.” She shrugs. “Not everyone is like Bethany. The woman did a stupid thing. You shouldn’t have to keep paying for her mistakes.”

The Uber pulls up to the curb outside of her restaurant. “Look, maybe I just don’t want to fight all the time.”

I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m scared.

Okay, maybe I am.

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