Page 63 of Give Me Perfect Love

“You’re gonna argue—hell, you’ll scream until your faces turn red, but it’s knowing at the end of the day that’s the person you’ll be lying beside, pissed off or not.” Smoke blows out double from the cold when he exhales, and the scent of the cigar takes me back to growing up in that house behind us.

I sigh before looking off toward the horses again, and neither of us says anything for a little while. The sun rises and the snow glistens. A flock of birds fly out of the trees and I miss my girl like the birds miss summer.

“I’m going to ask Emily to marry me,” he says a moment later.

My head snaps back to him. “It’s about fucking time, Pops.” I smile.

He chuckles. “I agree. I’ve already told Jace.”

I nod, unable to stop the grin on my face. Emily’s been a part of my life since I moved here. She’s always been there for Jace and me, and I’ve always thought of her as a strong mother figure.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.” He takes a toke of his smoke, leaving it in his mouth as he says, “Now come on. It’s colder than a well digger’s ass out here. Emily’s got breakfast cooking.” He grabs my shoulder as he turns, and I dump my coffee by the fence before I follow.

__________

Kathrine

After Bethany left, Christmas turned into just another day for me. I no longer got to experience the joy and warm feeling it brought up until I was eight. Bethany made sure we had a tree, and lights were hung outside and inside throughout the house.

Saw wasn’t into it, but this was something she put her foot down about, which wasn’t something she did too often. I swore I’d never let a man run my life like she did, but here I am, letting a man do exactly that.

I often wondered what happened to Saw growing up for him to become such a monster.

Was he mentally and physically abused like me? Or did he have it worse? There had to be a reason he was the way he was.

Maybe I just want to believe that a person can’t be born into this world so ominous.

I walk through the enormous antique store looking for gems to put in the shop to give it more character.

The space is double the size it was before, and it’s everything I dreamed it would be.

There’s a kitchen and an area just for sitting with charming iron tables and chairs with cushions. Window seats are now covered with bohemian throw pillows, and an area with a few wingback chairs are placed where people can sit in private or sit together if they choose.

There are new plug-ins and the built-in shelves are packed full of new books from both Indie authors and traditionally published ones.

A double set of French doors can be opened if the weather permits, making the space feel even larger than it is.

This is my dream, and the fact it’s finally coming to life is unreal to me. I know who I have to thank for this. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.

His touch, his smile that I hardly ever got to see when we first started dating. But I also know I’m not cool with his temper or the fact he’s super jealous. I can’t live like that. I grew up with arguing. I grew up with it all. I don’t want that in my adult life. I want peace.

As much as it pains me to even think about this, maybe we aren’t right for each other.

And that’s just fucking great, because he’s the only man I’ve ever loved.

Love is a powerful thing; it can suck the life out of you if lost and give you wings to fly when it’s at its best.

I’ve spoken to Mills a few times. He’s on the road heading up north. I’m not sure how our relationship is going to be without actually visiting each other often, but with social media and everything today, we can make it happen.

I haven’t heard a single sound from Bethany, and I’m okay with that. Maybe one day we’ll cross paths again and both of us will be in a better place. But for now, I don’t want her in my life.

I’m trying to heal from all of that, move on, and let it all go.

ChapterNineteen

Kathrine

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