Page 58 of Give Me Perfect Love

I’ve got a temper; I have a hard time controlling it. More so now than ever. Kat makes me crazy. I’ve never thought I had anything to lose, but the thought of losing her terrifies me and is making me act out.

Jace is sinking farther down, and I don’t know how to help him. My mom is in a fucking coma, and I don’t know how to wake her up.

K’s probably ready to jump ship, and part of me doesn’t blame her. She didn’t sign up for this mess. The song switches to “Every Time the Sun Comes Up” by Sharon Van Etten, and I lean my forehead against the window as I hear my brother snort another line.

My eyes burn, and my body feels like falling. Tired lids shut over my pained eyes and a tear slips, rolling down my cheek, and I’ve never felt so helpless.

Chapter Seventeen

Kathrine

Sleep-deprived and looking like it, I walk into the club, taking in how clean it looks considering the party that went on here last night. My eyes dart to the dance floor where Bryce beat a man’s face in. I’ve never seen rage like that, and it scared the hell out of me.

If he acts like that because a guy touched me, I can’t imagine what he’d do if it were worse. That’s three fights in a matter of days.

Is this a normal thing for him?He didn’t get into a fight when we were just friends. I think back on the drive-in movie he took me to. I’m shocked as hell now that he didn’t fight Nash who was such a creep. Bryce was so right about him. I remember the argument we had in the rain and how I got out of the car like an idiot. Inner me shakes her head.

Maybe Bryce didn’t fight Nash because we weren’t official yet? I don’t know.

Hell, I don’t know anything.

Ben sits at a booth with some other guy I’ve never seen before. He has gold chains and a belly, clean-shaven, and the light reflects off his diamond pinky ring. Does Ben live here? He’s never away.

“He’s upstairs,” Ben says, already knowing who I’m looking for. He looks tired, too, and I’m grateful for him because he got Bryce out of the club last night. I’m one hundred percent positive no one else could have done that.

The other guy eyeballs me, and I wonder who he is, but I’m not in the mood to ask right now. I slept like shit last night. I didn’t want to leave. But I also didn’t want to fight. It was a tough choice because my heart was pulling me back the whole way home while my mind was throwing up red flags and telling me to get out.

Bryce and I have passion and a chemistry I’ve never felt before, but there’s also this struggle inside of us, this need to fight. He’s controlling and bossy, and I’m stubborn and flight risky. Together, we’re a perfect shit storm.

I’m just worried about the damage left over when it’s all said and done.

Austin and Claire hardly talked on the way home last night, but I could feel the judgment rolling off them in waves.

My two closest friends think this is nuts.

They think I’ve gotten myself into a mess more so than with my ex Mark. I can hear everything Claire isn’t saying, but I’m thankful she’s keeping quiet.

I head up the stairs, opening the door to the private area. The smell of stale beer mingles with women’s perfume and cigarette smoke.

Jace sits on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees with a smoke hanging from his fingertips.

The room is messy, the poker table still covered with filled ashtrays and empty beer bottles. Music softly plays from the Bluetooth, rugged words from Johnny Cash, singing “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”.

“You been up all night?” I ask as he looks up at me. His eyes are red-rimmed, and he looks like shit.

He sniffs, shaking his head as he takes a drag from his smoke, the end of it lighting his facial features. “I slept a little.”

“You okay?” I ask.

He smirks. “Don’t worry about me, Kat. Your guy’s in there, worried enough for this whole damn city.” Smoke blows from his mouth, and he runs a hand over his freshly shaved head.

I nod before leaving him and walking up the stairs to the loft. Bryce lies facedown on the bed, his shoes kicked off at the foot. I shut the door behind me.

The heat is on in here and it’s toasty warm, causing me to remove my coat and scarf. My cheeks are still frosty from the whipping wind, and my mind is foggy from lack of sleep. A pain in my chest I can’t describe sits heavy, and I rub at it after I hang my coat over the back of the sofa.

Walking closer to what my heart’s been aching all night for, I stare down at the man I love. His lips are slightly open, his blues closed.

He’s a beautiful mess.

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