Page 4 of Give Me Perfect Love

I feel my eyes tighten.

“What?” The monster smiles mischievously. “You thought I didn’t know?” His eyes narrow and he rakes a hand through his long bourbon hair. He takes a drag from the weed. “Cat got your tongue?” He holds smoke in his lungs as he says it, causing his voice to sound raspy.

Needles prick my spine as a tremble vibrates my bones. My eyes dart from him to the money. My body’s coiled tightly like thread on a spindle. I slowly ease up from my bending position. My heart runs behind my backbone and hides with shaky knees.

He quickly jumps up, the chair slides, cracking drywall behind him. Adrenaline mixes with dread and I twist back toward the door, about to bolt when he grips me by my hair.

I feel it when strands rip from my screaming scalp and a small whimper leaves my throat involuntarily. My head snaps back and a stark pain shoots down my spine as he slams me against the door, causing the side of my face to throb from the impact. A tang of copper on my tongue confirms my teeth and cheek collided.

He wraps his big hand around my neck and his hot liquored-up breath feathers against my ear. His body reeks of dank weed and disgust.

I struggle to get out from under his hold, gritting my teeth.

“You’re just like her,” he says, his body flush with mine as he cages me in. I squeeze my eyes closed. My breath rushes out in spurts. “All I do for you, and you want to leave? Ungrateful bitch.” He presses into me, crushing the side of my face into the door harder. I wince at the pain that reverberates through my skull.

The bones in my cheek shriek, causing my eyes to water.

He’s going to break my face. Just a little harder and I’m sure I’ll feel the break in my bones.

How is this my life? What did I do to deserve this fucked-up horror?

It’s not fair. Hot tears spill, puddling on top of my squished skin, rolling over and trickling down the back of my neck.

I breathe in hard, smelling amber liquid from the person behind me and the door my face is smashed into.

“You get runaway thoughts out of your head, pretty girl. I own you. You wouldn’t know how to live outside of this house.”

I’m saved by a knock on the door. One of his customers. Thank God.

He grips my hair again and shoves me back toward the kitchen. I get ahold of my footing and hurry back to my room, shutting the door and pushing my dresser in front of it. I mourn the loss of my money. All that hard work for nothing. God, when will I get out of here?

______________

It’s late when I sneak out of my window to sleep under the stars, too afraid to sleep inside that house. My face is bruised, but I got my crap together. He thinks he can win, but he’s wrong. I came up with a new plan.

I will be patient.

I won’t antagonize him.

I’ll be as invisible as humanly possible, and then the day will come when I can vanish.

I’ll work, save (hide it in a different spot, of course), do my schoolwork, and count the days until graduation.

____________

Months come and go. I’ve stuck with my plan. I’ve been diligent, and it’s time for graduation. He’s seen my cap and gown. He looked at them like he could burn them, and I was scared he would, so I took them to school and left them in my locker, but today is the day.

No one is here to cheer me on. There’s no smiling face who’s proud that I’m their kid and I did it, but my life is my life. I’ve accepted that, so I walk across the stage with my head held high, even though my chin is bruised and my throat is sore from a fight the night before. I don’t smile on the outside, but on the inside my heart thumps a little harder than normal, rubbing its hands together happily, because I’m eighteen now.

I’m done with school.

I have money. Lots of money and I am getting the hell out of here as soon as he leaves for a run later today.

_____________

The hole in the backyard that keeps my money is dug up. The things I care about are packed, and the monster I live with is gone for at least an hour.

I run out the door and most of the way down our long road. I hit the bus stop five minutes before the bus is due to arrive.

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