Page 98 of Chasing Fireflies

I crawl into bed with Ellie and breathe her in. Her sweet smell gives me comfort. I kiss her dark hair and scoot down so I can see her face. She’s beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever done, and I know she will be an amazing woman. She’s smart and witty. Her presence alone lights up a dark room.

It’s five a.m. now, so I get up because she will be waking in a few hours to get ready for school. I kiss her one more time and climb out of bed. Bear lifts his head, and I lean down and pet him. “You watch after her always,” I say. “Always, always.”

*

I sit on the porch swing watching as the sun makes its first appearance, brightly declaring a new day. I rest my chin on my knee and look over when I hear the front door open.

“Hey, baby,” Cash says as he leans down and touches his toes.

“Hey.”

“You okay? Did you sleep?” he asks me.

“Yeah, a little,” I lie so he won’t worry. I’m so tired of making him worry. He walks over and leans down. Taking my face, he kisses my lips. I close my eyes and savor his touch. Tears build up behind my eyes. He lets go, and it was too quick.

“Love you. I’ll be back.”

“Love you, too,” I say as he jogs off the porch. The tears fall down my cheeks, just like the dew that slid down the grass blade, and I sniff and wipe my eyes before I go in to get Little Miss ready. I climb the steps with no energy, and once I make it to the top, I sigh and stop for a minute, looking down into our living room. The old broken house we turned into a beautiful home. A home full of memories and struggles, happy times and sad ones.

Love.

Love is what makes a house a home. But hope is what makes life worth living, and I’ve lost any that I may have had. I run a hand through my hair and walk into Ellie’s room.

“Little Miss,” I say quietly. “Come on, sweet girl. It’s time to get up.”

She rolls over and blinks her eyes open. “Can I stay home with you today?” she asks me. “We can sleep.”

I smile. “You have to go learn something new. Come on. Up, up,” I tell her as I walk over to her closet. “Dress or pants today?”

“Pants every day, Mommy.”

“You don’t like your dresses?”

“Not really. I can’t crawl good in them. My knees get all scruffy.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” I smile a little before getting her outfit and helping her in it. “Raise your arms,” I tell her. She does, and I take her pajamas off and slide her shirt over her head. I kiss her nose once her shirt is on. She reaches up and rubs my cheek, surprising me.

“I look like you, Mommy?” she asks.

“I think so.”

“Good,” she says before she stands and we put her jeans on.

*

I’m kissed goodbye, and I watch as my family walks out the door, leaving Bear and me alone. They wave with happy smiles, and I walk out onto the porch and take a seat on the step. Bear sits beside me and rests his head on my lap. I pet him and mindlessly stare out at the yard, not thinking about anything in particular and everything at the same time. I lean my head against the porch rail and close my eyes. Over time, we will be nothing but dust. Forgotten as the wind tosses us about. We will forever fly, but forever be no more.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Cash

The bell dings above me as I walk out of the office door and grab my keys out of my pocket. I turn around and lock up for the night, looking up at the sky as I do. It’s dark for this time of day, and I feel like a storm is coming. Leigh called me earlier and said she was going to grab Little Miss from school. She has a few dogs she needs help with and she wants to spend some time with Ellie. So I climb into my truck and head to Billy’s Barbeque to pick up dinner.

I’m walking out when I hear the ambulance coming through town and I wonder what could have happened now. I jog to my truck and jump inside, setting the food down in the passenger seat. My radio goes off, and I hear my address and the police code 10-56. My hands shake as I grab my keys and shove them into the ignition, yanking the gear shifter in drive and turning my emergency lights on. My tires spin, and I leave smoke behind me. I don’t stop once.

The ambulance is already there when I pull up, but the medics are just now opening their doors. I jump out and run toward the house, seeing Debbie’s car parked and Walter standing at the door. I look at him as he steps in front of me.

“Cash.”

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