Page 50 of Chasing Fireflies

“On experimenting. I mean, one man for the rest of your life. There are so many men out there.” She laughs.

“None that I want.” I pick up my beer and have a taste.

“That’s because Cash is insanely gorgeous and treats you like a queen.”

“We have our rough days just like everyone else.”

“What do you argue over? Who is being nicer?” Maci laughs.

“Come on, guys,” I say with an eye roll. “Cash and I have been through a lot. I’m usually the problem, but he has his days where he has had enough and he’ll tell me. My mood swings are unpredictable. Sometimes I’m great, but when I’m not, he has to deal with it and that can be rough on a person. So no, we don’t argue about dirty clothes or the fact the floor hasn’t been swept, because those things aren’t important.”

“That’s true. They aren’t,” Leigh says. “Sometimes I just feel trapped.”

“With Mark?” I ask.

“No, I love Mark, and honestly, if I had the chance to experiment, I know I couldn’t do it. Mark makes me happy when he isn’t pissing me off.” She winks. “I guess what I mean is, this town is so small. There’s a great big world out there. One I haven’t seen any of. He wants to stay stuck in this place and have babies and a white picket fence. I’d be happy with that eventually, but first I want to see the world. Enjoy us.”

“Tell him that then.”

“Girl, I tell him all the time,” Leigh says to Maci.

“Well, you aren’t telling him right. If I know Mark, and I do, I know he loves you and would do anything to make you happy. So, you need to sit him down and tell him what you really want,” Maci says, taking a sip from her beer.

Leigh sighs. “You’re right. I do tell him I want to move, but I’ve never really told him my dreams about traveling. Maybe I will.”

“What about you, Sara? Any big dreams in that head of yours?” Leigh asks me. I look down at my bottle. The lime in it fizzes, and I take a sip.

“I just want to live a full life, happy with the man I love. In a small town just like this, with good friends like you two,” I say, looking up. “If you do go traveling, make sure you come back because I’ll miss you.”

“Me, too,” Maci says. “It’s not easy finding good friends like you two.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Leigh smiles, and we clink our glasses together.

“Here’s to good drinks, small towns, and the best of friends a girl could ask for,” Maci toasts.

Chapter Fifteen

Sara

Colder than a few weeks ago wind blows across my face as the changing leaves get swept from one side of the road to the other. Tingles run up the back of my calves, and icy hot heat spreads throughout my lungs. I take in air through my mouth and breathe it out my nose. Sweat trickles down the center of my spine, and my thighs burn. I’m running as fast as my body will allow, chasing away bad thoughts and shifty mood swings. Today has been tough, and the walls are closing in on me. I’ve gone from one panic attack to another for no reason at all.

My new running shoes I bought online have soft gel bubbles at the bottom, and it’s like I’m floating over the pavement. My new sports bra is filled with sweat, and my new tank top that readsMind Over Mattermakes me feel like a real runner and not just a girl trying to get out of her own head for a while. My therapist told me to start exercising, says it will help. So I went a little crazy and bought a bunch of stuff online. I’ve hidden it from Cash, which is pointless since he’ll know once the credit card bill comes in. I see our driveway up ahead and run faster, until my lungs feel like they are going to explode and my leg muscles tighten.

I fall on my back, landing on the crunchy leaves and dying grass. Sweat drips down the side of my face, and I stare up at the clear blue sky. White puffy clouds move fast, and my chest does the same as my breathing tries to level. I put my hand over my stomach and wipe the sweat from my brow, thinking maybe I need to rake these leaves I’m lying on. I sit up and untie my shoes, removing them and my socks. I wiggle my toes free and stand up to walk inside. The house feels stuffy, and I drop my shoes and socks and go around opening all the windows, letting the fall breeze move in from the field. I lift my tank top over my head and drape it over my shoulder. The leaves can wait.

Taking off my running shorts and sports bra, I step into the cool shower and let the water remove the sweat from my body. It feels like heaven as I sigh and run my hands over my hair. I shut my eyes and concentrate on the water falling onto my shoulders and running down my stomach. I blink my eyes open when I hear the curtain move. “Fucking hell, Cash.” I put my hand over my chest and shake my head.

“Sorry, I needed a quick shower.” He smiles at me, and I seriously think my heart may pound out of my chest.

“Well, you couldn’t have waited?” I ask as I blink the water out of my eyes. “What the hell is all over you?” I reach up and touch the side of his face.

“Mud,” he says, moving me out of the way.

“Mud?”

“Yeah. Shit, this water is cold.” He adjusts the knobs, leans his head back, and rinses off the dried-up mud.

“I went for a run.”

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