Page 34 of Chasing Fireflies

“Mom.”

“No! Don’t youMomme. You cut your wrist and no one tells me? I’ve had it. I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew you shouldn’t have moved away from me. Walter, look at our baby’s wrist.”

Walter looks grim as he peers over at his daughter’s arm. “Why didn’t you call us?” he asks Sara.

“I didn’t want to worry you. I had a bad moment, but I’m better, Daddy. I’m on my meds, and I’m seeing a therapist. Things are better.”

He nods, but I see the worry behind his eyes. I don’t blame him. If it were my daughter, I’d be worried, too. And the mention of her meds reminds me she didn’t call them in.

“You should have called us the minute this happened, Cash. How are we to trust you with our child when you let something like this—”

“Stop,” Sara cuts in. “Mom, I will not have you blame this on Cash. It is not his fault. It’s no one’s fault. I’m sick, and sometimes I get sad and I can’t control it. No one can. It’s just who I am. But I’m better now. There is no need to worry, and you will not come into my home and blame my husband for something he had no part in.”

Debbie huffs, and Walter stands. “We’ll be on our way now.”

“There’s no need to leave,” I say to him.

“No, son, it’s getting late.” He shakes my hand. Debbie stands, too, and Sara gives her a hug.

“I made the call for him to not contact you, Mom. Don’t be upset with Cash.”

“But why?” I hear Debbie ask.

“Because I’m not your baby anymore. I’m grown, and we have to deal with this on our own.”

“You’ll always be my baby.” Debbie sniffs, and Sara sighs.

“I love you, Mom. Have a safe trip home.”

Sara hugs her dad, and I walk them out. Debbie doesn’t speak to me as she goes to the car, but Walter does. “I’ve always liked you…” he says, turning to face me. He slides his hands into his pockets and looks past me. “Because of the love my daughter has for you. It’s as clear as the sky is blue.” He sighs and looks up, but then turns his attention back to me, and I see his anger simmer behind his blue eyes. “My opinion of you will change if something happens to her on your watch. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Take care of her, Cash.”

“I do every day,” I reply.

He nods and walks to the car. I watch them leave, and I get a strong urge to ram my fist into a wall. “Fuck.”

“Cash, don’t let them get to you,” Sara tells me.

“They don’t have to,” I say back to her. “Iget to me. If I would have been there more for you, you wouldn’t have tried to take your life.”

“You were there for me. This wasn’t about you or them. It was me.”

“Why?” I ask her. “Why the fuck do you want to end your life? I don’t understand it. I couldn’t be happier. Why am I not enough for you?”

“You are enough. You’ve always been enough,” she says, putting her hand on my arm. I shrug it off.

“No, if I was enough, you wouldn’t have sliced your fucking wrist.” She pales, and I feel like shit. I sigh and run a frustrated hand through my hair. I need to leave. I need some space, but I’m fucking terrified to leave her alone. I look over at her. “I need to take a drive. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“Cash.”

“Fucking promise me, Sara.”

“I promise,” she says quietly. I nod and grab my keys. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

*