Page 1 of Chasing Fireflies

Prologue

Present Day

Cash

I lift my head off of the steering wheel and look out my windshield. My mind is foggy, and I can’t seem to wrap my brain around reality. Rain falls heavy outside and beats against the old truck’s metal roof. We’ve lived in this town for eight years now, and somehow it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I wipe my eyes and open Old Blue’s door. I’d like to say I’ve never been here before, but that’s a lie I can’t tell. I step out onto ground I’ve stepped onto more times than I can count, but for better reasons. I’m losing my mind, and I’ve lost my crazy heart. The rain soaks me, but like the inside, my outside is numb, too. Music flows through the opened door of the small-town bar, and like a zombie, I walk inside. Sweet guitar strings are strummed, but all I hear is the ringing in my ears. I take a seat on the barstool as Banner walks over.

“Heavy rain tonight,” he says, sliding a napkin in front of me. I look at the napkin and then up at his face.

“Jack––straight up.”

He narrows his eyes, but doesn’t question me. I watch him as he reaches up to grab a shot glass. Looking down at my hands, I run a finger over the dried blood that covers my palm. Water drops from the tip of my baseball hat, and my eyes shut for a brief moment. Memories flood my mind––blonde curls and baby blue eyes. Painful moments and a lifetime of struggles, but I’d do it all again. I open my eyes and grab the glass in front of me. I toss back the burning liquid and try not to choke on the sadness that threatens to take my life away.

I put the glass down and look up when Banner asks, “Another?” I nod and my hand shakes as I bring it to my greedy mouth. “You okay, Cash? Can I get you anything else?” His concern slips between his lips, and my whole body starts to shake. I look up from my shot glass.

“Stolen time,” I whisper as my eyes cast downward, and my heart falters.

Chapter One

Our Wedding Day. Eight Years Earlier.

Cash

I lean against the hotel bedroom door and watch as she looks at herself in the mirror. Her eyes meet mine, and I see it when her cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink.

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re only saying that because I married you.”

“I’m saying that because it’s true,” I say, shutting the door behind me. I set the bucket of ice down and walk over to her. She’s in a cream-colored lace dress and has a flower in her wild curly hair. We just tied the knot. We dated throughout high school, and four years after graduation, I finally asked her to be mine for life. She agreed, and after a long engagement, we took a trip to the courthouse. With only a few people to witness, we promised each other forever. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I kiss her dirty blonde curls and she rocks us from side to side.

“Why can’t I be happy all the time?” she whispers to me, like it’s a secret. But in a way, it is. Sometimes it’s hard for the girl I love to get out of bed, and there are times that she only does it for me. But there are also times when I’m not even enough to fight the darkness away.

I kiss her again and tell her once more, “You’re perfect. You’re enough. You’re mine.” She gives me her smile, and I turn her around to face me. I look into her pretty blue eyes and see my soul. It reflects within her and I think,how lucky am I to find someone like this?I see how much she loves me through her eyes, and I hope she can see it through mine, too.

I kiss her lips, and she removes my blazer. Our sweet love turns into needy love, and I lift her up and place her onto the dresser, knocking over the bucket of ice I got only minutes before. We ignore it, and I grip onto her thighs as she runs her fingers up the back of my neck and into my hair, causing chills to cover my body as I kiss her crazy. I lift her dress, and she undoes my belt and pants. Within minutes, I’m where I want to be, and she’s closing her eyes. I move and she wraps her thighs around my waist tighter as I lay her down onto the bed. My wife’s hands go to the pillows above us, and she grips tight as I show her how much I love her. I tell her, too, as I kiss down her neck and grip onto her hips. Pulling her closer to me and pushing down deeper, I make us whole, and she makes my world brighter. I kiss her again, and when I pull away, wild love tells me how happy I make her. Time gives you the kind of love we have, and I pray for more of it every day as I watch her come undone underneath me.

Chapter Two

Five Year Anniversary

Cash

“This house is everything!” my wife yells as she twirls around on the front porch. I watch her with absolute amazement.

“Be careful, baby. Some of these boards don’t look so great,” I say. She giggles and runs inside. I adjust the box in my hand and follow, shaking my head at my crazy wife. The sound of her running bounces off the old walls of the big farmhouse, and I set the box down by the front door. Taking a look around, I can’t help but smile. We’re finally here. The house has been around since the twenties, and the field that surrounds it used to be alive––nothing but dead wheat grass now and a bur oak tree that’s seen many years before us, but she doesn’t care and neither do I. After years of saving up and months of looking, we finally found a place. We went to the bank, put down everything we had, and got a loan big enough so we could have extra to fix her up. I hear the creaky springs of our used mattress, and I make my way up the stairs.

Her laugh is the only sound I want to follow, and I smile when I see her jumping on our bed. She falls on her back, and I lean against the doorway, watching her.

“Cash, I’m so happy.” She turns to look at me and smiles. Her eyes sparkle with light as the sun shines through the windows of our bedroom, making her hair look golden blonde.

“You are?”

“Yes.”

I push off the wall and walk over to her. “How happy?” I ask, looking down at her spread-out curls. She stretches her arms wide, showing me how much. She closes her eyes, and at the same time, I lean down quickly, tickling her crazy until she can’t breathe and complains her ribs ache. I kiss them better, and my hand crawls up her skirt. She lets me do what I want and I do. I take her face in my hands and kiss her mouth. She tugs my shirt loose from my pants and pulls it up and over my head. My lips touch her neck and make their way down to her collarbone. She breathes heavy and reaches for my belt. After she slides it through the loops, she tosses it and unbuttons my pants. I tug them down and hike her summertime dress up. My fingers dig into her thighs, and within seconds I’m inside her. Pushing and pulling. Taking and giving. She’s everything to me, and I’m her fucking lifeline.

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