Page 78 of Close to Falling

“We have just decided to let it go. If it happens, then it happens. I’m not going to stress over it.”

“That’s good. Sometimes, we just have to leave things to chance,” she says, taking a bite of her food.

“You’re exactly right,” I say, looking down at my glass. “I feel like my life has turned out pretty good, you know? I’ve had so many ups and downs it could give a person whiplash, but I’ve pressed forward and kept going. There was a time I thought drugs would take me down. I thought I wouldn’t be able to live a normal life because I needed to feel numb. But I was missing out. I think in life you have to take the good with the bad. You have to have the rough times so you can appreciate when things are smooth.” As I finish talking, I’m still looking at the wine glass and lightly twisting the bottom against the tablecloth.

“Maddie,” Ellie says, grabbing my attention.

“Yes?” I say, looking up at her.

“You’ve come such a long way from that girl in my office, and I’m just so happy I got to see it. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, Ellie. I owe so many thanks to you,” I say, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

***

We stand in front of the judge, hand-in-hand, as we promise to love and respect each other. To be there through the bad times and the good. If we get upset, we promise to take a breath and count to ten. To apologize when we are wrong and forgive when the other apologizes.

“When life gets hard and I get scared, I promise I won’t run away. I’ll run toward you,” I say to River.

“I’ll always protect you. I’ll always find a way to make you happy,” River says.

The judge pronounces us man and wife, and River shows me his dimples before he grabs my face and kisses my mouth. Our family claps, and I rest my forehead against his.

“Tell me,” I whisper.

“I love you, wife.”

Epilogue

Five Years Later

“Mom.” I hear and look down the hallway at Bre. She’s got my heels on and lipstick all over her face.

“Bre Dawson, what the heck are you doing, girl?” I ask, putting down my pencil and moving toward her. She grins wide, and I see blue teeth. “Fisher, did you give Bre a cupcake?” I ask, looking toward the living room.

“No, Mom, she got it herself,” he says, looking away from the TV. River walks through the door and grins.

“What did you get into, Bre?”

“Cupcakes and Mom’s lipstick.” She grins at her dad, showing him her dimples and bright green eyes just like his. He laughs and messes up Fisher’s hair as he walks toward me.

“Hey,” he says, kissing me.

“Hey back,” I reply.“Fisher, would you mind cleaning Bre up for me, please?” I ask, following River to our room.

“I guess,” he answers.

“Thank you!” I yell back toward him. I shut the door and walk into the bathroom where my husband is.

“He called me mom again,” I say, smiling.

“Really?” he asks, mirroring my expression.

“Yep, that's a good twenty times now. I think it's going to stick.”

“I hope so, baby.” River turns the shower on and removes his shirt. Walking over to me, he lifts his hand and rubs my face. “You’ve got black smudge all over you.”

“That’s the norm,” I reply, walking by him and looking in the mirror. I see it’s on my nose and forehead. Geez. He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. Rolling his hips, he presses into my back.

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