Page 44 of Close to Falling

“Yeah, this guy named Rozz. He’s pretty damn good, too.”

“They look badass,” Landon says. “So, how are things?”

“As good as they can be.” He nods and looks around the room. “How’s she doing, man?” I ask once he looks back at me.

“Shit, dude. She’s got a new job downtown, but she stays out late and doesn’t show up half the time.”

I rub the back of my neck. “The drugs?”

“She keeps to herself mostly, but she’s a walking zombie.”

“Have you tried to talk to her?” I ask him.

“What should I say, brother? You know she isn’t going to listen to me. She’s a stubborn ass.”

I laugh, because she damn sure is. “I don’t know what to do. I mentioned her not coming anymore, and she fucking flipped on me, man. Made me promise to not say anything like that again. But this shit is killing her. I feel like she is fading away. She’s lost weight, and I can tell she isn’t sober when she comes anymore. You and Frankie have to get her help, or we’re all going to lose her.”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I’ll mention it.”

***

As the weeks go by in here, things change. Having learned I am Pops’ boy, the Brothers have taken me under their watch. My dad was high in crime, and apparently, high up in the ranks. All I had to do was make one phone call when I got cuffed for beating that fucker who was giving my girl drugs. Swift got me out with no issue, and the matching ink on his neck and my dad’s is why. The gangs like to pick you out and give you a hard time, so you have no choice but to choose sides. Having friends is important, even if you don’t want them, but with new friends come new enemies. I’ve had to knuckle up more than once just to prove I’m not a pussy. But this one guy with Black Crow ink won’t keep his mouth shut, so I’m going to have to do something about it. It will put me in the hole for a week, but I need time to myself. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do with my drugged-out girl.

The Brothers have my back as I make my way into the chow hall. It’s not a choice I have. I’d like to take care of this myself, but in here you need someone watching your back. I see that punk fucker sitting with a group of his people, and I grip the tray in my hand. As I make my way over, a few Black Crows lift their heads toward me. Big mouth turns around, and adrenaline pumps through my veins. I give him a grin as I dump the tray. Not even giving him a minute to realize what’s happening, I swipe him across the face with it. He falls out of his seat, and his gang jumps up, but Pops’ puppies are behind me, and the Black Crows are outnumbered. They back up as I reach down and grab the shit talker by his shirt. I draw back, and blood spatters from his left eye as my fist connects with it.

“Keep my name out of your mouth, fuck boy.” I look up when I hear guards coming toward us.

“Or what?” he says and then slams his fist into my mouth. I reach my hand out to grab him by the throat. I grip on tight, hardly missing his slinging fist. I keep my hold even when he starts struggling for air. He goes limp, and I smile as I’m being pulled into a different direction.

“You just earned yourself a few days down the block, kid.” I get told, but at least I’ll be alone, and maybe I can get some sleep.

***

Bars from the bed I’m lying on press into my back. The mattress is so worn out it hardly exists at all, but the cell is quiet, and right now that’s what I need. My arms are folded behind my head as I stare at darkness. My mind shifts thoughts, fighting with my heart to tell B to move on. I know that’s what she needs to do. Sweet love needs help, the kind I can’t give. The kind she can’t get coming to see me all the time. When I saw her last, she looked completely lost, and it rips pieces of my heart every time I see her like that. I’ve loved that girl since I was too young to know what love is. I’ll lose myself without her, but I can’t be myself in this place anyway.

I laugh, thinking how I told her she was going to break my heart. Turns out, I’m going to have to do it to her. But only for a while. I will come back for her. I’ve always been the bad kid. The boy who broke all the rules––the one with bad intentions. But I swear on everything, I’ve never had anything but good intentions toward Maddie B. Callaway. I’ll love her till I die, and I’ll be okay with that. I’ve got to set my wild girl free. I’ve got to let her go.

Chapter Nineteen

Nine Years Later

The breeze from my open French door flows into my spacious studio, moving dark strands from my shoulder. I roll my neck and grab my water glass. It’s later than lunchtime, and I turn away from my work and look out into the city life. I hear traffic and the hustle of Friday. Taking a sip from my glass, I look up at the chrome ceiling fan and watch as it goes round and round. I drink what’s left of my wine and hop off my stool. Grabbing my oyster pail that was filled with lo mein, I make my way out of my studio and into the kitchen. I toss the pail and put my glass down. The TV plays in the background, and I look across the room when I hear something about the U.S. surfing championships. The announcer is speaking about how perfect the day is, and he starts naming off the surfers competing. I smile when I see Landon’s face pop up on the screen. My brother has gone far, and I couldn’t be prouder. I haven’t seen him in a while because he travels a lot, but we speak a few times a week.

I look over at my calendar. Thinking of Landon has made me think of Frankie. His birthday is coming up, and I need to send the fresh honey I’ve gotten him.

Frankie never did move. I don’t visit. I haven’t been back to that house. But Frankie comes here, and we cook and watch sports together. I don’t care for sports, but Frankie does. I look over when my door slides open and in walks Sarah.

“Hey, we need to send that honey to Frankie,” I tell her.

“Okay, I’ll get on that this afternoon. Did you get my text?” she asks, sliding the door back closed.

“No,” I reply, looking around for my phone. “I haven’t even looked at the thing all morning.”

“Of course, you haven’t,” she says, rolling her eyes and walking straight to the table beside the couch where my phone is. I grin. She looks at the TV. “Well, I see you figured it out anyway.”

“Oh, was it about Landon?”

“Yes, I was telling you to get out of your head for five minutes and watch your brother do his thing.”

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