Page 35 of Close to Falling

“Here, Frankie,” I say.

“Just put it on the table, B,” he replies, taking a sip from his beer can. He flips a burger, and it sizzles. I stand beside him for a minute and watch the smoke rise from the hot grill. “When are you moving out?” he asks, throwing me off. I look over at him and search his eyes.

“How’d you know?”

“I’m not stupid, Maddie. I know you want to be where River is.”

“Yeah,” I reply, looking back at the grill. “I’m just a little…” I bite my lip, trying to find the words.

“You’re a little what?” he asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Want my advice?” He flips another burger patty.

“Sure.” I shrug.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re only eighteen, and he is only nineteen. You’re both too young. Stay here and figure out what you want to do with your life. Save your money and do something with your drawing. You can see River whenever you like. You’re both grown, but give yourselves a chance at a future together. Don’t rush things when there is no need to.” Furrowing my brow, I bring my thumbnail to my teeth. “Just think on it for a while, B. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Okay,” I say. I pat him on the arm before I walk back toward the house, giving Landon and River one more look. I see Landon has his lips pressed, and there’s a deep line between his eyes. River's arms are crossed, and his eyes are on Landon as he fills his ear with more deep conversation. I look away and slide the door open, telling Cali I'm going to the bathroom really quick. She nods as she makes a face from the candy she has stuffed into her mouth. I laugh, and on my way up, I remember Frankie’s note. I slide it out of my back pocket and unfold it. Four twenties fall out, and I reach down and pick them up. I make my way to my room and open my dresser to put the money inside before I look back at the letter.

Maddie, I'm not a man of many words, which I'm sure you have learned after all these years, but I want you to know I'm proud to think of you as my daughter, and I hope you go far. This is only the beginning. You three kids mean the world to me. I'll always be here.

-Frankie

I smile down at the letter. Frankie is most definitely not a man of many words, but he will never know how much just that little bit means to me. I refold the paper and slide the letter beside the money before I head to the bathroom.

***

“Frankie is a smart man.”

“That he is,” I reply.

“Did you ever find out what Landon and River were talking about?” Ellie asks.

“Yes.”

***

I’m wrapped up in River, skin on skin, and his hands roaming all over my body. He kisses my lips and licks my collarbone. Biting my neck, he pulls on my skin with his teeth and grips my thigh as he pushes inside. He tells me he loves me and proves it with everything he does.

***

“So you and Landon were in deep conversation earlier today,” I say. River’s head is lying on my stomach, and I run my hands through his hair.

“Yeah,” he replies.

“About?”

“Pops,” he says, sitting up. My hands fall as he grabs his smokes from the table beside the bed. Taking one out, he slides it behind his ear and stands up. He grabs his sweatpants off the floor and puts them on.

“Guess you don’t want to talk about it,” I say.

“Not really.” He takes his lighter and walks out of the room. I sigh and close my eyes for a minute, knowing this is going to be a fight. I jump up and pull my panties on, along with one of his long T-shirts before I make my way to where he is. I open the screen door and sit beside him on the steps. “Maddie, go put some fucking clothes on,” he says, looking over at me before he peers around the trailer park.

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