Page 31 of Close to Falling

“Let’s just hold out for a little longer, okay? Besides, where will you move? Do you have money saved up?”

“I’ll figure it out,” he replies.

“How?” I ask.

“Dammit, B. Stop asking so many fucking questions. I’m going to figure it all out. I’ll take care of us.”

“You won’t have to, River. I can take care of myself. I’ll get my money when I turn eighteen.”

“You won’t be using any of that on me,” he says sternly.

“I didn’t say that. I’m just saying you don’t have to worry about me. Worry about yourself.”

“I can’t just worry about myself, Maddie. You’re in my fucking head,” he says fiercely, tapping his forehead with his index finger. I swallow and take a deep breath.

“Why are we fighting?”

“Because we fight,” River says. “I love you, B. I want you forever. You and me. I don’t give a fuck who has a problem with it.”

“I love you, too,” I say without thought, because I do. It’s natural, a part of who I am. River looks caught off guard because I haven’t said those words out loud yet.

“You do?” he asks, lifting his brow and giving me the most honest smile.

“Of course, I do.”

Before he walks closer, he shakes his head as though he can’t believe it. Grabbing the back of my neck, he presses his mouth to mine. His tongue touches my lips, and I open to let him in. My arms reach up, and I slide his blazer off his shoulders. He helps remove it before his hands go to my hair.

“You look like you can’t believe it,” I say.

“I’m not sure of a lot of things in this world, and I know we are so young, but I also know without a single doubt, I love you and never want to be without you.” He takes my bottom lip between his teeth, and I feel my zipper as he slides it down my back. “Is this okay?” he asks against my lips, and I’m thinking it’s too late now, but I say yes anyway. He slides my dress off like I did his blazer, and I step out of it. With a look of awe on his face, he removes his tie and tosses it onto the bed. He licks his full lips, and I move closer to him. I unbutton his shirt, and he takes it off. He lifts me up and sets me on the dresser. I cross my ankles behind his back, and he pushes into me. “I’m not going to be able to stop this time, B,” he says. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I’ve been sure.”

He gives me his dimples and moves the lace to the side before he brushes his knuckles over my sensitive skin. I bite the inside of my bottom lip and moan as his fingers enter where I want all of him. I’m nervous, and my arms are shaking. I kiss his dimples before I lean back, and my head falls against the mirror behind me. I clamp my eyes shut as his fingers curl. My nails dig into his arms, and he leans down, grazing his teeth against my neck, biting down as he makes me feel good. Opening my eyes, I see his muscles move in his wrist, and my legs tremble and try to squeeze shut, but he moves closer, keeping me from putting my knees together. Heat moves across my chest and up my neck until I feel the flames in my cheeks. I swallow before I cry out. River removes his hand and undoes his belt. Lifting me up, he places me on the bed. I scoot up to the pillows while he takes his pants off.

“Tell me the truth,” he says, climbing on top of me. “Tell me you haven’t been with anyone.”

“I haven’t.”

“You’re such a liar,” he says as he spreads my legs wider. He kisses me and rolls his hardness into me. I moan, and his hands move down my body until they are at my underwear. “We can’t go back after this.” He slides my panties down, and I lean up.

“I know,” I reply. He pulls himself out of his boxers, and I put my head into the crook of his arm as he slowly enters me. He pushes farther, and tears spill out of my eyes. Gosh, this hurts. He leans down and kisses my tears away.

“Sorry, baby.” He pushes in farther, and I feel myself stretch to accommodate him. He sinks until he can’t anymore. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice sounding strained, his arms slightly shaking as he holds himself up.

“Yeah,” I manage to say.

“I’m going to move. Chill, B. It’s just me.”

I take a deep breath and try to relax my muscles. He slides back until he is almost out and then moves forward again. Soon I don’t feel the sting anymore, and it becomes better. Way better.

“Come on. Lean into me,” he says urgently. I run my hands down his back, and he ducks his head and sucks on my neck, pulling my skin until I feel it break. He licks down to my collarbone and holds himself up on his elbows beside my head. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” he breathes against my inflamed cheeks. “Tell me this is forever. Tell me you’re not going to break my heart.”

“Not on purpose,” I say, digging my heels into the comforter beneath us. I push up, wanting more. He slams back into me, and I cry out. He sinks his teeth into the skin on my chest, marking me and then kissing it better. I grip his hair, pulling at the thick strands. We’re flying high as he clutches the sheets that have been revealed because our lovemaking is moving the blanket. Sliding the cup of my bra down with his chin, he bites my breast and takes it into his mouth. His tongue swirls as he tastes my skin, and I see black when I close my eyes and focus on what he does to me. The sounds coming from his chest, up through his throat, and out of his mouth make me feel on top of the fucking world because I’m making him come undone. Tingles of fire and ice run up the back of my calves, and screams come out of my open lips as I come.

“I love you so much,” he says as I feel him swell inside me. He shakes, and I kiss him as we both glide down.

Chapter Thirteen

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