Page 30 of Close to Falling

“River, I can’t leave Mikey.”

“Fuck Mikey. You wanted to go to prom. You’ve been. I let you have over an hour. Let’s go.”

My eyes dart back to where we came, and then I look back at River. “And what have you been doing this whole time?” I ask as my worries from earlier pass through my mind.

“Thinking about you,” he says, likewhat the fuck else would I be doing?

“Really?” I ask, love-struck and melting.

“Yeah, B.” He shakes his head, likewhy don’t you get it?“Come on. Come with me.”

“Okay,” I say. “Let’s go.”

***

“You actually left Mikey?”

“Yeah,” I reply.

“And River left his date also?”

“Yes,” I confirm.

“Maddie,” Ellie says disapprovingly.

“Hey, I felt bad…about leaving Mikey, anyway. I didn’t too much care that River left what’s her face.”

“Okay, go on,” she says, crossing her arms.

***

Sick bass from his radio rattles the old Crown’s trunk, and my boy lights a joint as we head down the highway. I don’t know where we are going, but I’d go anywhere with River. He rolls the window down and passes me the J. I take a hit and give it back to him. Rolling my window down, too, I blow the smoke out and turn the radio up more. I slip my heels off and put my feet up on the dash. Friday night cars pass us, and excitement simmers uncontrollably inside me, dancing and feeling free because I’m with River. I love the wind in my hair, and I give a flirtatious smile when I see he is grinning at me.

***

He parks the Crown Vic at a hotel outside of town. I look at River and see a line has appeared between his brows. He directs his eyes over to me, and the corners of his lips lift, but he is trying to cover his uncertainty. He opens the car door, and I watch him walk around to my side. I get out, and he gently takes my hand, leading me up the steps and around the corner of the hotel. Nerves build inside me. My palms grow sweaty underneath his, and I feel just as unsure as he looked only a minute ago.

“River,” I say, taking a step back and clasping my hands in front of me as he unlocks the door.

“What, B?” The door opens a tad, and he turns around to face me. Sliding his hand into his pocket, he looks me over.

“What are we doing?” I ask as I take my lip between my teeth.

“Nothing you don’t want to. Don’t you know that already?” His words are sincere, and they calm my nerves. This is River. My River.

“Okay,” I say. I walk past him, and he follows. I hear the door click shut. Hand still in his pocket, he tosses the keys onto the dresser and leans back against the wall. I’m still in my prom dress, and my long skirt shuffling is the only sound I hear besides the pounding of my heart until the air conditioner kicks on. Our eyes lock on each other.

“Who was the girl?” I ask. He shrugs.

“Nobody important.”

“Have you been with her?” I question.

He laughs once. “I haven’t been with anyone since our first kiss, B. You’re all I think about.” He moves away from the wall and walks over to where I am standing. “How do you not get this? How do you not know what I feel for you, girl?” he asks me. The look on his face is everything I need for reassurance. “I think we should tell Frankie. I’m eighteen now, and I can get my own place. I won’t be living in his house anymore.”

“But I’ll still be living there,” I reply with wide eyes.

“So? You’ll be eighteen before we know it.” His shoulders shrug, and I shake my head.

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