Page 32 of Miles

“It’s pretty much a death sentence from the first day,” he surmised.

“Essentially. How either of them have lived this long is beyond me. But I won’t be one of his women. I won’t. He only wants to use me, and when he’s tired of me…”

“You don’t have to say it.” His hand tightened, almost to the point of pain.

I winced.

He released me immediately. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s all right. I’ve been hurt worse than that before—and on purpose, too,” I whispered. “So, do you see why I jumped that day? It was the only way I could think to get away from them both. I knew they’d always try to find me—and someone always had before, so there wasn’t much hope of getting away unless I was dead.”

“Don’t speak that way. I don’t want to hear it.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true. I couldn’t see any other way out. My whole future looked like nothing but a prison stay. Maybe I would have babies, but I would have nothing to do with the way they were raised. No say in their lives or even in my own life. He would use me when he felt like it and throw me away when he felt like it. And nobody would care. Nobody would even know, so long as I could help it. I’d be too ashamed. I’m almost too ashamed to talk about it with you, now.”

“Why would you feel shame over something like this? It’s not due to any fault of yours.”

“I know that here.” I pointed to my head, then let my hand rest over my heart. “But here? Another story.”

“I would say it took courage to do what you did. The way you lingered there, hesitating…” He trailed off, his eyes going out of focus as he remembered that day.

I remembered it, too. How could I ever forget?

“I didn’t want to.” That was it. The moment I lost control. The sobs which wrenched themselves from my chest left me shaking all over, unable to breathe or speak or do anything but let them out. I’d been holding them in for so long.

I didn’t know when he took me in his arms, but he did, and I rested my head on his shoulder and released every pent-up bit of anger and disappointment and fear. All of it, until there was nothing but peace.

When it was over, and his t-shirt was soaked through with my tears, I had to laugh at myself.

“God, what you must think of me,” I muttered, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand.

He got up without a word, going to the attached bathroom and wetting a cloth. He brought it to me—but instead of handing it over and allowing me to wash my face, he held my chin firmly in one hand while he ran it over my cheeks.

“Do you really want to know what I think of you?”

I raised my eyes to meet his, and what I saw there… It was a look I had never seen before. A depth of emotion I didn’t think a man would ever feel for me. I was so sure that sort of thing wasn’t for me, that I wasn’t lucky enough to have been born into a life where I’d experience such simple, profound pleasures. Just to have a man look at me that way…

I realized he had asked a question I had no response for. I stammered, helpless—until he pressed his lips to mine and made me forget anything in the world existed but him.

Yes. This is how it’s supposed to be.

Not some tense, emotionless, cringe-worthy kiss, the sort of kisses Antonio had forced on me so many times. This was soft but firm, giving and demanding all at once. He took his time, moving his mouth over mine as his hands found the sides of my face and held me still.

I leaned in, melting into him, my head spinning from all of it. His thumbs stroking my cheeks, his tongue darting out to sweep across my lips until I parted them with a sigh.

I wanted to cry again—this time, with joy and relief. My body came alive, needing and watching and desiring in ways it never had before. Like he had turned on my soul.

He growled, deep and low in the back of his throat, and a heat like nothing I’d ever known blazed in my core. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. Maybe more.

I was the one making him growl like some sort of wild animal.

My fingers curled in his short hair and held his head in place as he held mine while desire took over.

When he pulled away, I followed, leaning forward until it was clear the moment was over.

My eyes snapped open, and a sense of loss came over me. I wanted him back. He stood, fists clenched and nostrils flaring.

“That might have gone too far had I not stopped when I did,” he muttered in a tight, almost unrecognizable voice.

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