Page 18 of Jilted

It was probably almost over anyway.

See how dumb it is.

I’d had a decent amount of liquor Saturday night. I bet the woman wasn’t half as interesting as I remembered. And she wouldn’t even know I was there.

I chewed my bottom lip for a while, ultimately deciding if I didn’t check out the stupid YouTube show, I’d never get any sleep. And I had work to do tomorrow. So I gave in, got up, and clicked.

The screen immediately filled with Sloane’s face. She was covering her mouth, laughing. And I couldn’t help it, I smiled at the damn screen. But then, my eyes moved to her hand,her left hand. No ring. No engagement ring. Just like the night of the wedding.

“Okay, everyone,” she said. “We have about fifteen minutes left, so we’re going to open up the Q&A. You can ask any question you want about weddings. Nothing is off-limits, and there’s no such thing as a dumb question.” She pointed down. “Just type ’em in below, and I’ll pick a few to answer.”

The blank panel on the bottom half of the screen began to fill with questions. Sloane’s eyes moved back and forth for a minute before she read one aloud.

“Okay, first question is from Tatiana. ‘How do I gracefully tell the best man I don’t want him to give a speech? Ours is loud and crude, and I’m afraid he’ll offend my guests.’” Sloane looked at the camera. “Well, Tatiana, I’m not sure there is a gracious way, but if you’re not having any other speeches, you could simply tell him you’ve chosen not to include speeches as part of your wedding because you think it puts too much pressure on the speaker. Or, you might say speeches about you make you uncomfortable, so you’ve chosen to forego them.” She paused, and her eyes went back and forth over the laptop screen again before she smiled. “This next one is a great question. Lily asks, ‘Is it bad form to hook up with another member of the bridal party?’” Sloane grinned and looked back up at the camera. “Assuming you’re not talking about the bride or groom, I think a hookup between two consenting adults is okay, fun even. As long as you’re both clear on what it is.”

Hooking up at a weddinggave me an idea. I moved my cursor over to the Q&A box and typed.

Why don’t you wear your engagement ring when you’re hosting a show about weddings?

There must’ve been a delay, because it took a minute or two for my question to pop up on the screen. When it did, I watched Sloane’sface as she read it. She frowned. “NumberSeventeen asked why I don’t wear my engagement ring when I’m doing this show. Well, NumberSeventeen, that would be because I’m not engaged. I was, but things didn’t work out.”

My heart beat faster.She’s not engaged.

Screw it. I needed to know if I was the only one obsessing over the kiss last Saturday night. So I typed again:

Have you ever gone to a wedding and made out with a stranger?I almost hit enter, but then decided to make the question a two-parter.If so, how was it?

I tapped my fingers on the desk as I waited. Other questions scrolled past, so I wasn’t sure she would answer mine again. But when it came on the screen, a sly smile crept over her face.

“NumberSeventeen has another question. She wants to know if I’ve ever made out with a stranger.” Sloane looked into the camera. “In fact I have. Recently, too. And I highly recommend it.”

My chest puffed with pride. Generally speaking, I didn’t love weddings. An invitation in the mail was about as welcome as a speeding ticket. At least with those you could write a check and be done with it. But suddenly, I was back to looking forward to the next nuptials I had to attend—in three weeks.

7SLOANE

“How were your last two weeks?” Dr. Amherst settled into her usual chair, picked up her notebook from the end table next to her, and opened to a fresh page before placing it on her lap.

“They could have been better.” I shrugged. “I saw a picture of Josh and his new girlfriend. Or rather his new-againgirlfriend.”

“How did that happen?”

“On Instagram. Josh and I still follow each other. The photo was a few months old. Lately that’s all I see. Old posts. They must’ve changed the algorithm or something.”

Dr. Amherst smiled. “I miss the old days, when everyone didn’t know everything about each other’s lives. But tell me, how did the photo make you feel?”

“Like an idiot. The same way I feel when I think back to the email that popped up on his phone a few days before the wedding, with her name on it. I believed him when he said she’d seen the announcement and wanted to wish him luck.” I shook my head. “I think the fact that I believed him without question bothers me most these days, maybe even more than the fact that I was left standing at the altar humiliated and the man I loved is back with his ex.”

“That’s understandable. You placed your trust in someone who shattered it. When that happens, we’re left with the fragments of a promise that once carried a lot of weight in our hearts.”

I sighed. “I should’ve unfollowed him.”

Dr. Amherst tilted her head. “Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment?”

She smiled. “I think it’s more likely the same reason we all look over at a car accident. When something bad happens, our amygdala is stimulated—the part of the brain responsible for processingfearful and threatening stimuli. It sends a signal to the region of the brain that analyzes and interprets things. That, in turn, causes us to evaluate what happened and make sure it doesn’t happen to us. Or in your case, make sure it doesn’t happen a second time.”

“So I’m following Josh to figure out why I didn’t see it coming? Or am I following him to keep myself miserable so I won’t get into another relationship and get hurt again?”

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