Page 116 of Jilted

Wilder:I should’ve called. I’m sorry for showing up unannounced. I can come back tomorrow, if you want.

I might not be able to focus enough to respond to a text, but I knew for damn sure that I wouldn’t sleep a wink if I turned him away. There was no point in prolonging things any more.

Sloane:I’ll buzz you in.

Living on the fourth floor of a walk-up at least gave me a minute or two of lead time. I went to the bathroom, ran my fingers through my unwashed hair, and swiped at what I thought was day-old smeared mascara under my eyes. But it turned out it wasn’t makeup; it was dark circles from lack of sleep.

My nerves were at an all-time high as I went to the door and unlocked it. Wilder was already coming up the last flight of stairs as I stepped into the hall. He carried two big duffles, one in each hand. I hadn’t noticed any bags from the window, so my focus narrowed to them and what they might mean.Is he planning on staying over? Will I let him if he wants to? Did I leave stuff at his apartment and he’s returning it?Momentarily lost in my head, I didn’t look up to see the face of the man carrying the bags. When I did, my heart stuttered.

Wilder looked awful. Probably about as good as I felt. His hair was a mess, his eyes were puffy and rimmed with darker rings than mine, and it looked like he’d slept in his clothes. My instinct was to open my arms, give him a hug, and tell him everything would be okay, but I forced myself to remember what I’d been struggling through the last few weeks.Alone.

Instead, I folded my arms across my chest. “You couldn’t have called before you boarded your flight? Or even after you landed? Give me a little notice?”

Wilder raked a hand through his hair. It looked like he’d been doing that for hours. “I’m sorry. I was afraid you might tell me not to come after the way I’ve acted for the last couple of weeks.”

If he thought that, he hadno cluehow I felt about him. Pissed off or not, hurt or not, I was crazy about this man. I shook my head and opened the door, stepping aside for him to come in.

Wilder slowed as he passed, looking into my eyes and speaking softly. “Thank you.” He set the bags on the floor in the kitchen and swallowed, looking down at my belly. “How are you feeling?”

“Physically fine.”

“Your blood sugar?”

“Right where it should be.”

We were both silent for a long time. I hadn’t realized I wasn’t looking at him until he called my name.

“Sloane?”

My eyes met his.

“I’m so fucking sorry.” His eyes filled with tears, so I thought he might have meant for the way he’d acted.

But I was afraid to get my hopes up since he could also be apologizing for not wanting to be involved in our life. “For what?”

“For running away. For acting like a coward. For not being the man you deserve.”

I tasted salt in my throat as I swallowed.

“I know there’s no excuse for running away, but I want to tell you why I acted the way I did.”

“Okay…”

“Do you think we can go sit on the couch or something?”

I hesitated before nodding.

Once we were seated in the living room, Wilder took my hand and squeezed. “Do you remember when you asked me about my past relationships? I told you I had a relationship in high school and another one in college, but I didn’t go into detail about Whitney.”

I nodded. “You said she destroyed you.”

Wilder nodded. “That’s true. But it’s not the whole story. I met Whitney in one of the bars near Harvard. She’d taken the semester off because of some financial-aid issues and her dad being sick—at least that’s what she told me. We started hanging out. It was when my mom was sick, so we had that in common. I liked her well enough, though not enough to say she was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But then Whitney got pregnant. She told me it was mine, but it wasn’t.”

“Wilder, I would never—”

He held up his hand. “Shit—no, that’s not what I meant. This is coming out all wrong. I wasn’t insinuating you would ever—” Wilder shook his head. “I know you would never do something like that.”

“Okay…”

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