Page 183 of Silver Elite

Then her gaze shifts to Anson’s body and she jerks as if she’s received an electric shock. It’s as if she suddenly remembers what happened, what he did to her, and the last shards of my heart crack off when I see all the light drain from her eyes. She’s broken. Ravaged.

It’s an expression I can’t erase from my mind, staying with me long after Xavier escorts her to the door.

—

It’s late when we return to base. I don’t speak to anyone. I’ve tried to link with Tana a hundred times, but she’s not letting me in. Eithershe doesn’t want to speak to me, or she can’t. I’m leaning toward the former.

I allowed them to take my best friend to a labor camp. I stood there and watched. Hell, I facilitated the deal.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I stare at my reflection and say, “Who the fuck are you?”

The Wren from a couple of months ago would have fought to the death to save her friend.

But the entire time Tana had been pleading with me, I kept thinking about my parents and how much they sacrificed to help the Uprising. I worked my ass off to make it to Elite, and fighting for Tana would have meant destroying the solid cover I’d built, the trust I’d earned.

If anyone even trusts me after tonight. Covering up Anson’s death was beyond reckless.

I stuck my neck out as far as I was able to for Griff and Tana. How will it serve the network if I’m at a labor camp, shoveling salt or coal alongside them? I can do more good here, undercover in Silver Elite.

And so I continue to stare in the mirror. Into the yellow-gold eyes and bronzed skin I’m told I inherited from my mother. The brown hair and cheekbones I got from my father. The longer I look, the more of a stranger the woman in the mirror becomes.

This woman, who convinced Griff to take a deal rather than fight, who let Tana be led away, who killed Bryce Granger.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

Fighting back tears, I get in the shower and blast the temperature as hot as it will go. Until my skin is red and scorching. I imagine my identity being burned off, along with the shame of what I’ve done.

“Dove? What are you doing?”

Cross appears as a hazy silhouette in the curtain of steam. When he comes into focus, I make out his concerned expression.

I don’t know how he got into my quarters. I don’t question it. He’s a better soldier than I’ll ever be. As he peers at me through the foggy glass door, his features soften. Then he peels off his shirt and undoes his pants. Naked, he steps into the stall and comes up behind me. I don’t turn to face him. I don’t want to see his eyes. He folds his strongarms around me, forearms over my breasts, muscular chest pressed against my spine. I’m not sure how long we remain there, surrounded by steam and silence. He holds me, and I let him.

Until I remember who’s bringing me comfort.

I turn off the water, then shove past him to get out of the shower. As I fumble for a towel, he watches me with an array of emotions. Worry remains one of them. Suspicion is more prevalent.

“You’re going to have to stop lying to me one of these days.”

“I didn’t lie about anything. He hurt her.” The words taste bitter on my tongue.

Cross steps onto the bath mat. With tenderness I haven’t seen from him before, he pushes wet hair off my forehead, tucking it behind my ears. His thumb strokes my bottom lip.

“I know. I saw. But I also know that if I run ballistics on the bullet in Anson’s head, it won’t have come from your weapon. And if I test the bullet from the door, it won’t be from his.”

I raise a brow. “Do you really want to go through all that trouble? There’s one less sadistic creep on the Continent, and my best friend gets to spend the rest of her life in a salt mine. What other resolution do you want?”

A muscle tics in his jaw.

“Do you want to keep talking about it? Dissecting it? Why are you here, Cross?”

“I came to make sure you’re all right.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m all right. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone now.”

His cheeks hollow as he mutters, “Fine.”

After he leaves, I curl up on my bed, tucking my knees to my chest. It occurs to me, as I lie there numb and exhausted, that there’s nobody left.

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