Page 103 of Silver Elite

How am I supposed to follow in those footsteps when I’m pathetic in comparison? I just watched a friend get murdered in cold blood. My father threw himself in front of bullets to protect his allies. I ran. My mother faced a firing squad. I ran.

I can’t follow in their footsteps.

They’re far too big for me.

“Wren.” Kaine’s voice is a rough whisper. “You good?”

I don’t know how he senses it. When I roll over and whisper, “No,” he holds up the corner of his blanket in invitation.

I should decline. But I’m desperate for comfort, for a reminder that I’m not all alone.

I crawl into Kaine’s bed and cuddle up beside him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and then covers us with the blanket. His body is warm. His heart beats in a steady rhythm beneath my cheek.

I wish I could talk to him telepathically. Spill my thoughts into his mind, share my pain. For a moment I’m tempted to reach out to Wolf, but I’m distracted when Kaine takes my hand and laces our fingers together.

“It’ll be okay,” he murmurs.

Then he brings our entwined hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles. The sweet gesture unleashes a rush of emotion that floods my chest.

I rise on an elbow and gaze down at him. His handsome features are shrouded by shadows, but I don’t miss the way he licks his lips.

“Wren—”

Before I can second-guess myself, I kiss him.

He makes a husky sound of surprise. Or maybe it’s approval.Approval, I decide, when he cups the back of my head and threads his fingers through my hair.

He kisses me back with an intensity I don’t expect. In fact, we go about it a little backward. It starts with passion that makes me gasp, his tongue in my mouth and his hips arching toward me, my thigh draped over his. And just when I’m struggling for air, when my heart is beating so fast I fear it’ll stop, the kiss turns infinitely gentle.

Kaine’s lips brush mine in soft, slow caresses. His fingers stroke my hair while his other hand grazes my side before dipping beneath my shirt. When his palm reaches my breast, a jolt of desire sizzles through me. He squeezes, his thumb teasing my nipple, and I can’t stop the desperate whimper that escapes my lips.

Whether it’s my whimper that does it, or he simply comes to his senses on his own, Kaine wrenches his mouth away.

When he speaks, the words are hoarse and regretful. “As much as I want this, we both know now’s not the time.”

He’s right. I want so badly to forget what happened to Betima tonight, but this isn’t the way to do it. Not here. Certainly not now, when I can hear other people breathing around us and bedsheets rustling as someone shifts in their sleep.

Nodding, I sit up. Kaine brushes a kiss on my shoulder and then lets me climb out of his bed and back into mine.

—

I rise the next morning to the sound of Hadley’s voice snapping for us to stand to attention. Everyone must not have slept as badly as I did—as in, lay awake staring at the ceiling all night—because nobody appears groggy or disoriented. Two rows of alert, albeit weary faces greet Hadley, who’s joined by Tyler Struck at the front of the barracks.

A part of me prays they’ll announce that Betima survived her head wound, wasn’t an Aberrant spy after all, and would be rejoining Black Cell once she’s released from Medical.

That doesn’t happen. Obviously.

Instead, Hadley informs the group that “one of our own” wasrevealed to be working for the enemy and dealt with accordingly. Struck then tells us to put it out of our minds and resume our normal activities as usual.

The instructors leave, and I’m left staring at the empty doorway in disbelief.

Are. They. Fucking. Serious.

We’re just supposed to act like Betima wasn’t murdered? Resume our normal activities? Go to shielding class and the shooting range and prepare for another mock op tonight?

To make matters worse, my own friends, as subdued as they are, accept the orders without question and proceed to get ready for the day.

It’s difficult not to scream at every single person in this room. But why waste my breath? They don’t care that Betima is dead. And they certainly won’t care whenI’mdead. Which is the fate I’m looking at if I don’t find a way out of here.

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