Page 37 of The Missing Half

“So that’s why you guys were fighting that summer,” I say.

“Who told you we were fighting?” It’s me she asks, but it’s Jenna who responds.

“We tracked down Steve McLean, Skeevy Steve. He told us he remembers you from that summer, said when you started working with him at the barbecue place, you talked a lot about Kasey. He got the impression you guys were—he used the word ‘frenemies.’ ”

“Oh,” Lauren says with a little frown. “Well, I was the only person who knew, and I didn’t know how to handle it. For weeks, we fought about it, and finally I just gave up. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. That’s why I got the job at Mesquite. I don’t actually remember talking about Kasey that much, but I was really worked up about the whole thing, so I guess I could have.”

It explains why Kasey didn’t say anything about Lauren changing jobs. If anyone had pried, their questions would lead to a truth that, as Lauren put it, could destroy lives. I understand now why it was a secret, but I still don’t understand why it was a secret fromme.

“Did you and Kasey ever fight in the parking lot?” Jenna says.

“The parking lot outside the restaurant, you mean?”

Jenna nods.

“Um…no? At least I don’t think. Why?”

Jenna opens her mouth to answer, but I cut her off. I don’t give a shit about explaining anything to Lauren, not now. “You made it seem like you and my sister were super tight that summer,” I say.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to protect her. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I’ve never told anyone.”

Beside me, Jenna leans forward. “Didn’t you think that Kasey having an affair with an older, married man was incredibly relevant to an investigation into her disappearance?”

Lauren holds up her hands. “Yes, of course I did. Well, actually, when I first heard she went missing, I thought she’d just run away with him. Not forever but, like, for a few days. She did that a lot that summer. Spent nights away with him. So, that’s why—”

“Wait,” I say. “Kasey spent all those nights with you. At your house.”

“That’s just what she said. Which was another reason we were fighting. I was sick of being her excuse, being complicit or whatever.”

All of Kasey’s lies are spinning into one enormous tornado in myhead. And the same, single question is its eye: Why didn’t she trust me with the truth?

“So, that’s why I didn’t say anything when it first happened,” Lauren continues. “There was all this confusion about the circumstances of her disappearance, and the details about her car and wallet and all that didn’t make it to me for a while, so I thought the whole thing was far more innocuous than it was. And I didn’t want to get Kasey in trouble or ruin her life. I don’t know what your parents would’ve done if they found out about the affair, but I knew it would be bad. And to be honest, Brad might’ve been a jerk for cheating on his wife, but I know how close your families were. I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s life if he had nothing to do with it.”

“But what about after that?” Jenna says. “When it was obvious Kasey hadn’t just run away. Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“I was going to. I swear. When I learned the details of her disappearance, I thought maybe Brad wanted out and had done something to her. But I was scared. I was nineteen. The police hadn’t even talked to me yet, so I was trying to figure out how to approach them when I ran into Brad’s wife. It was during one of the first searches we all went to, in Grand Rapids around where Kasey’s car had been found. The two of us started talking, and Sandy told me she wished she and Brad could’ve been there for your parents earlier, the moment they found out Kasey went missing, but her family had been out of town. It was completely unprompted. Without even knowing I was suspicious of him, she gave me Brad’s alibi. He’d been on vacation with his family when Kasey was taken.”

I open my mouth, then close it. My head is too crammed full of shock and confusion and resentment to shape any of it into a logical question.

“Back then,” Jenna says, “in 2012, did Brad know that you’d found out about their affair?”

Lauren shakes her head. “I don’t know. If he did, Kasey never told me. Why?”

“Well, what you said earlier, outside. You made it seem like…Did something happen to you since we talked last week? Did somebody threaten you or try to get you to stop talking to us?”

Lauren’s eyes fill with tears as she nods.

“What happened?”

“It was terrible.” She grabs a tissue from the side table to wipe her wet cheeks. “Two days ago, on Friday night, Matthew had already left town, so I was alone with the kids. I took them to this event at our church. It was, like, a potluck thing. They’d set up tables and chairs by the playground and there was a bouncy house and they hired someone to do face-painting. There were so many people there, there had to be over a hundred.” She inhales a shaky breath. “God, I’m a terrible mother. I can’t believe I let this happen.”

“What?” Jenna says. “What happened?”

“Well, I fixed a few plates for me and the kids and we were sitting around with a bunch of the other moms, just talking. There’s, like, a little group of us with kids all about the same age. After we ate, the big kids went to play on the playscape. I was keeping an eye on Beth Anne, but I had Thomas too, and eventually, I needed to change his diaper. It was a messy one, so I wanted to do it in the bathroom, and I asked my friends if they could watch Beth Anne while I went into the church and they said yes, of course. And I don’t blame them for what happened. Really, I don’t. Because Beth Anne would’ve only disappeared for a minute, max. She could’ve just walked behind the bouncy house or the slide and reappeared sixty seconds later and no one would’ve known.”

I shoot a glance at Jenna, who has a look of dread on her face.

“Anyway,” Lauren says, “I was walking out of the church with Thomas when Beth Anne ran up to me. She looked fine. Totally normal. She had her face painted like a fairy and she was smiling, you know. She was having fun. That’s when she told me she had a secret and she could only tell me. But, you know, four-year-olds have secrets all the time. They saw a cute doggy and it’s a secret, or they didn’t brush one tooth. Whatever. So I was only half listening, but then she told it to me and my blood just ran cold.”

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