Page 14 of The Missing Half

It sounds both petty and dramatic, but she just says, “I get it. I swear.”

“And you know, I don’t have a car right now…” I haven’t told herabout getting a DWI, but biking everywhere isn’t common in Michiana, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she suspected something. “Which means if we ever need to go anywhere, I’m gonna need a ride.”

“Right. No big deal.”

“And…” I rack my mind. I don’t have anything else to ask for, but I still feel like I have the upper hand, and I want her to pay. Not suffer, not sacrifice, just pay. I glance around the kitchen. “I want that tomato.”

Jenna follows my gaze. “You wantthattomato?”

“I haven’t been eating enough vegetables, and I don’t have time to go to the store.”

“Right.” The corner of her mouth twitches. “It’s yours.”

She’s chewing her lips now, fighting to keep a straight face. Despite myself, I feel her amusement catching in me. She presses her fingertips to her mouth, but a laugh escapes them. “I’m sorry,” she says, her shoulders shaking. “But you asked for mytomato.”

“Shut up.” But I’m laughing now too.

“Youdemandedit.”

“I don’t know, I felt like I needed something physical. A token of your regret.” This makes us laugh harder.

After it fades, Jenna picks up our plates and puts them in the sink. When she turns back around, she’s all business. “Should we get started? There’s more space in the living room if we wanna work in there.”

We walk in and I settle into an old, threadbare armchair. Jenna sits on the couch, her laptop on her thighs.

“Okay,” she says. “If the reason for both Jules and Kasey acting weird was because of something that happened where they worked, then we need to find someone else who worked there too. At either place, I mean, during 2009 when Jules was at the restaurant, or in 2012 when Kasey was at the record store.” She bows her head, rubbing her hairline irritably. “I can hardly remember my own co-workers from back then, let alone any of my sister’s.”

“I can,” I say.

Jenna looks up.

“Yeah. Lauren Perkins? I told you about her. She gave me a ride home the day Kasey went missing. She worked at the record store that summer too.”

“Do you still know her? Can you reach out?”

The idea of seeing someone from my old life, of showing her what a dead end my new life has become, makes my skin prickle with dread. “I might have her number saved,” I say.

But when I check my contacts, she’s not there.

“Are you on any social media?” Jenna asks.

“I have Facebook, but I haven’t been on in a long time. Like, years.”

She puts her laptop on the coffee table, slides it toward me. “Why don’t you log in? See if you’re friends.”

I have to reset my password because I can’t remember my old one, but pretty soon, I’m in. When my profile fills the screen, the breath kicks out of my chest. I’d forgotten my banner photo was an old picture of me and Kasey. I’m probably seven or eight in it, Kasey nine or ten. We’re both dressed up as witches for Halloween. Our arms are around each other’s necks, cheap silver rings stacked on our fingers. We’re wearing gauzy dresses and pointed hats, our lips painted black. When I realize I’m staring, I look away.

In the search bar up top, I type “Lauren Perkins,” then scan the list of results.

“None of these are her,” I say. “At least, I don’t think.”

Jenna walks around the table and looks over my shoulder. “Click on them to make the picture bigger. Just to be sure.” I do and this confirms it: none of these Laurens is the Lauren I knew. “Try googling her,” Jenna says. I open another internet tab and type in her name, but again there’s nothing. “Hmm. Maybe she got married and changed her name.”

I laugh. “Lauren is Kasey’s age. She’s twenty-six—she’s not married.”

“Nic, we live in the Midwest. At thirty-three, I’m practically an old maid.” When she says this, I realize how little I really know about this woman I’m now working with. I know about her sister’s disappearance and her mom’s cancer, and I know she’s a receptionist at a dentist’s office, but that’s about it.

“It’s just hard to imagine,” I say. But what I’m really thinking is that if Lauren got married, it means she’s moved on from the devastation of losing my sister, moved on from Kasey herself. It shouldn’tfeel like a betrayal, but it does. This is what I do, assume everyone else is frozen in time because I am.

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