Page 39 of Unbinding the Demon
“Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He laughed as he lit his bowl, the small flame from the lighter illuminating his face.
“Jeez, way to give me a fucking heart attack!” I giggled, but my heart raced in my chest from the sudden fright.
He laughed some more and took a hit. “What are you doing out here, anyway? It’s cold out.”
“I, uh, I don’t even know, to tell you the truth. I just needed some air, I guess.” I shrugged while looking up at the glittering stars.
A frown pulled at the corners of his mouth as he glanced at me with concern. “Is everything all right, love? You seemed a bit off this evening.”
“I have? Oh... I don’t know, it’s kind of complicated.” I shook my head and waved my hand. “I’m not sure if you’d understand.”
“Bitch please, try me,” he said with sass while gazing up at the moon. The lunar light highlighted his sharp features and prominent brows as he blew a swirling cloud of smoke up into the air, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m considering breaking up with Ashton and moving back to Cedarville. I really,reallylike him, more than anyone that I’ve ever dated before, but I’m not so sure that he’s good for me. He scares me...like a lot.”My gaze whipped back over to the darkness. It seemed like something became perturbed and stirred in the shadows. It was likely just a coyote or a similar animal, though.
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” William’s face darkened with anger. It was a look that rarely crossed his features.
“Um, no.”
“Did he cheat on you?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” The thought of him with another woman sent a surge of jealousy through me, but I quickly stamped it out, reminding myself that I was considering leaving him.
“Good, otherwise Lacey and I would have to go slash his tires and stuff his mailbox full of spring snakes.” He snickered and took another hit, stepping closer to me.
I laughed along with him, but it was a humorless laugh. William noticed and put his arm around me. I leaned against him and hugged his slender frame in return, enjoying the comfort he offered.
“Do you love him?” he asked while shrugging and looking down at me.
“Well, I’ve definitely never liked someone this much before, but I think it’s a bit too early for that.” My eyes remained on the eerie shadows. It was true. The lust between us had been immediate, but love was a whole other ball game.
“So, the only thing wrong is that you’re scared?” He raised a brow.
“It’s more than that. He’s kind of psychotic.” I stole a quick glance up at him, my heart racing.
“Gwendolyn, love... This sounds like your incessant self-sabotage.” His grip tightened, and he glared down at me. “I know that the last two guys you dated were total douchebags who kind of ruined dating for you...Especially that last one. But I can tell Ashton isn’t like them. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re the most important thing in the world to him, almost like he’d die without you. He might not be perfect, but I think he’s good for you.”
“I know, I just—I—I,” I sucked in a deep breath. “He’s put me in danger just to prove a point. I don’t think I can trust him.”
“What did he do?” William tilted his head, and his fingers curled into my shoulder a bit tighter. It was the only indication of his displeasure. Yet I knew my words had triggered something protective within him.
“He held me over a cliff so that I would learn to trust him,” I scoffed, feeling tears swell in my eyes. “He terrified me.”
“Yeah, that’s fucking psychotic; damn. I mean, break up with him if you want to, but at least stay in the valley.” He lit the bowl again with his arm still around me and leaned in so that his face was right in front of mine as he took the hit. “You scored free tuition to Mount Greybirch, for fuck’s sake. Don’t throw an opportunity like that out the window just because of some crazy guy.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I coughed from the smoke and tried to fan it away with my hand.
“I know, I’m always right,” he teased and then burst out laughing. “Plus, if you end up leaving him, he’ll have Lacey and me to deal with if he ever shows his face around here again.” He hugged me a little tighter, and we both laughed together.
The matter was still conflicting, but I took William’s advice to heart. I also took the fact that he didn’t know the entire story into consideration. I stayed snuggled up under his arm as we chatted for a little longer. The chilly wind eventually became too much to bear, so we went back inside and said goodnight. I went into the kitchen for a late-night snack and sat down at the table with a jar of mixed nuts.
17. Under the Tantric Moon
I sat at the small, round kitchen table, under the pale yellow light fixture, superstitiously picking all the almonds out of the mixed nuts I was snacking on. The house was quiet except for my crunchy chewing and the pitter-patter of kitty paws prancing around. William had gone to bed, and Lacey was still sleeping on the couch, making the atmosphere somewhat lonesome. My disheartened gaze lingered on Lacey’s fancy blooming tea kettle. The beautiful flowery brew was a lovely shade of light amber, and had a few slices of the reishi mushrooms I'd dried. However, I was too disquieted to admire it. I got up, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and poured myself some anyway. The sweet floral and earthy tea would have been much more enjoyable under different circumstances.
With a sigh, I leaned limply against the counter, the sage-green surface digging into my back. I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of dread that lingered in the pit of my stomach. Breaking up with Ashton was the most logical thing to do, but my idiot heart wanted to give him another chance. It was obvious what I had to do, but after dwelling on my thoughts for a while, I wasn’t feeling so sure about my decision. I was a conflicted, sulking, and emotional mess.
A gentle knock sounded on the front door, causing me to freeze mid-sip. My eyes widened, and I glanced over at the stovetop clock, finding that it was 11:38 pm.
