Page 102 of Unbinding the Demon
My mouth fell agape. “They’re magical too!?” A string of short, unintelligible, angry ramblings spewed from my mouth as I clenched my fists and kicked at the ground. I froze, narrowed my eyes at him, then abruptly lunged for the blades.“Give them back!”
Azathoth’s big arm swiftly caught my waist and nabbed me right out of the air. “I don’t think so,” he said, pressing me against his chiseled chest. My cheek squished against him as I grumbled and squirmed, imprisoned in his firm embrace. He and Valarendrik continued arguing about it. Azathoth spoke with vehemence, while Valarendrik remained calm and appeared to be trying to talk reason into him.
The three of us were too busy bickering to notice Sagacor slink off. He snuck over to a tree and began happily munching on more caedis fruit while we squabbled in the background.
“No, absolutely not! I told you yesterday that I didn’t approve of arming her! I’m protecting her, so she doesn’t need them!” I gritted my teeth, anger boiling inside my chest. “She’s too clumsy and doesn’t know the first thing about wielding a sword! Let alone two of them! It’s much more dangerous to let her have these than to remain unarmed!”
I wouldn’t even trust Gwendolyn with a flimsy butter knife. So I definitely wouldn’t trust her to double-wield enchanted necrotic blades from The Abyss! Those things could easily kill the undead and corrupted or spread pestilence among the living!
“Then let me teach her how to wield them,” Valarendrik suggested, while my grip on Gwendolyn’s enraged wiggling body shifted a bit. “That poison has weakened you, my friend.” He pointed to my shoulder. “If what you’ve told me about the corrupted human souls back on Earth is true, then those may be very useful for her to have.” He then pointed to the blades. “I only mean well with my gift, and I apologize for angering you.”
I paused for a moment. I hadn’t mentioned it to Gwendolyn because I didn’t want to worry her, but it was possible that Adelstein,that birdbrained imbecile, was diligently corrupting the entire town while we were away. Once unbound, I could incinerate them to crispy charred smithereens. However, in the off chance that the spell didn’t work, I would need the Teloch Axe to defeat Adelstein, since he was consumed and empowered by dark abyssal essence. Then we’d still have all the corrupted to deal with.
Gwendolyn peeked up at me with big, green, pleading eyes. “Come on, Azathoth, please? I promise I’ll be careful,” she begged, which, to my aggravation, ruthlessly tugged at my heartstrings.
I grumbled out a few Enochian curse words that neither of them could understand. I’d be in serious trouble if that girl ever figured out just how difficult it was for me to deny her anything when she looked at me like that. My lips curled over my fangs as I hissed at Valarendrik, ignoring Gwendolyn as she mumbled“persnickety house cat”under her breath.
“Alright, fine! I’ll let you teach her how to wield them,” I snarled in defeat. “But if I’m not completely comfortable with her abilities once you’re done, she’s not keeping them!” My voice held ascendancy and finality as I tightened my fuming grip around her in a possessive manner. In all honesty, though, Valarendrik was pretty much the Miyamoto Musashi of The Abyss. If anyone could teach her a few things about wielding swords in a short amount of time, it was him.
A toothy grin stretched across his face, and the deplorable crown of bones twitched with joy. “Thank you.” He made a small bow. “I hope you will not be disappointed with my efforts.”
“Yeah, yeah, just don’t start her off with actual fucking swords. Use bones or whatever.” I waved a dismissive hand at him, then released my grip on Gwendolyn. She gasped for air and stumbled forward the moment I did. I inwardly cringed, then gently grabbed her arm to help her regain her balance...Maybe I shouldn’t have tightened my grip on her so much.
“Very well,” he replied, then went off, I presume to go gather some usable bones to train with.
Gwendolyn ripped her arm out of my hold, her face flushed with anger. “So, are you going to let me have those cool magic swords or not?” Her heated gaze could have scorched my very soul. She placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot with impatience.
I sighed and ran my hand down my face. “Valarendrik is going to try to teach you a few things about wielding them. If,and only if, you seem like you can use them without killing yourself...” I sucked in a deep, exasperated breath through my nose. “I’ll let you keep them.” My grumbling voice was almost unintelligible, but she somehow heard me perfectly.
Her face lit up. She squeaked and bounced, her eyes shining with excitement. The damp moss squished beneath her boots as she enthusiastically wrapped her arms around my torso. “Thank you!” she said sweetly, while nuzzling her face into my chest.
I wrapped my arms around her with an endearing smile. “It’s not that I don’t want you to have them. I’m just worried you’ll hurt yourself, that’s all. These are very dangerous blades. One nick and you’ll develop a contagious, necrotic wound.” I shook the blades in my hand. “Luckily, Valarendrik is by far the best swordsman I know. If anyone can teach someone like you how to use something so dangerous, it’s him.”
She snapped her head up to look at me. “What do you mean,someone like me?” Her eyes narrowed with a deadly gleam.
Oh shit...
I quickly avoided her fuming stare by nervously shifting my eyes around. “Well, I, uh, I mean...”Oh, Gods of Hell, how do I say this without making her feel insulted?“I mean, you’re, you know, fragile and, uh, less strong and dexterous than us...um,men.“
“You’re calling me a weak and clumsy woman, aren’t you!?” she accosted.
“Well, no...maybe sort of... It’s nothing personal, or the fact that you’re a woman, for that matter. It’s just that humans have certain strength limitations and—”
“Listen up, Bucko!”She angrily smacked my chest, then rubbed her frail, delicate human wrist. “Human or not, I’m perfectly capable of wielding those damn swords!” Her weak little hands shoved off my body. Then she began storming over to Valarendrik. “Watch me prove it! You bumptious bugaboo!” Both her middle fingers flew up at me, then she stumbled over a random skull lying around... I sighed.
For the love of Mother Lilith, she can’t even wield her middle fingers without tripping over something.
Valarendrik looked highly entertained as he watched her little outburst; then he smirked over at me. “I can see what you meant when you said she’s a feisty one!” he hollered with an amused laugh while holding a few long femur bones.
“Yeah, well, good luck training that little firecracker! You’ll need it!” A confused look fell over his face. Then I remembered he had no idea what a firecracker was. I sighed yet again as I began walking toward them. “Let’s just get this over with.”
I stroked Sagacor’s slightly decayed neck as he whinnied in discomfort from gorging his belly with caedis fruit. I sat on a large stone next to him, watching in amusement what appeared to be an episode of“The Shinobi and The Bumbling Stumblebum”if ever a show existed. Gwendolyn looked like a disheveled cavewoman who had just fought off an angry gaggle of geese, narrowly escaping with her life. Yet, despite her awkward maladroitness and bedraggled appearance, she was determined.
Long pale bones flashed and swooshed through the air, clanking together as Gwendolyn swiftly crossed hers to block Valarendrik’s attack. “Remind her to never use a cross block below her head.” His voice called over to me calmly.
“Don’t use a cross block below your head, my love,” I hollered over to her. “But you can cross my head anytime you’d like! The head of my dick, just to be clear!”
Her deadly gaze snapped over to me, making me feel more like the prurient peanut gallery than the translator. “Yeah, yeah, it was an accident!” she grouched. “And quit trying to distract me with your lewd, uncalled-for comments!”
