Page 49 of Trust No One

When it was over, both his mom and dad had professed everlasting love. Until the ugly cycle began all over again.

He wanted nothing to do with ‘love’.

He wanted the freedom to do what he wanted, when he wanted to do it, without any messy entanglements. Without that kind of pain.

That life didn’t sound as enticing as it used to. Right now, the thought of sleeping with anyone but Mel repelled him. He rubbed at the pain in his chest. Whatever he’d had for lunch had given him indigestion.

Oh. That’s right. They’d been too busy chasing Kingsley and Larrimore. They hadn’t had lunch.

* * *

Mel drew a deep breath as she stepped into her room and eased the door closed. What the hell had she just done?

She stumbled onto the bed and curled up against the headboard. She’d turned to Dev for sex. To wipe away the memories of seeing Larrimore shot in front of her.

It had taken her so long to reclaim the parts of her she’d given to Dev in Kabul. So long to steady herself, to remember who she was without Dev as an intimate part of her life. And today, she’d thrown all that work, all that effort, right out the window.

Yeah, seeing Kingsley kill Larrimore had been shocking. Horrifying. The re-run of Larrimore tumbling to the ground, of Kingsley flipping him over with his foot, then kicking his leg, would play in her mind forever.

And yes, Dev had seen more than his share of horrific things in his time in the SEALs and in the CIA SpecOps group. He certainly must have nightmares of his own, memories he’d never shared with her. Probably never would. She was surprised he’d said anything about that scar on his shoulder.

Those lack of details had made him a safe refuge. She knew he’d understood what was going through her head – the horror. Grief. Revulsion. All for a man she’d never met. A man who was as corrupt as Kingsley.

But she should have been stronger. Should have been able to process it by herself.

She shouldn’t have turned to Dev for comfort. Comfort that had morphed into sex. Had she undone three years of work to keep herself separate from him?

She was afraid the answer was yes.

Now she had to rebuild those walls.

And how was she supposed to do that when she could still feel the imprint of his body on hers? When she could still taste his kiss? When his scent clung to her skin?

An hour later, after taking a shower and burying her raw emotions deep inside her, she stuck her head into Dev’s room. “You okay?” she asked, studying his face.

“I’m fine. You’re the one who got punched in the gut,” he said, swiveling to face her. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s not something I’m going to forget anytime soon.” She swallowed, and his gaze dropped to her throat. From the way his eyes darkened, she knew he was remembering how her throat had rippled against his mouth. Remembered what it felt like beneath his mouth. Wanted his mouth on her again.

Ignoring the heat in his gaze, she shrugged. “Better than I did a couple of hours ago.”

“Good,” he said, his eyes soft. She needed to look away but couldn’t tear her gaze from his.

When that softness tempted her to step closer to Dev, she stared at the floor. “Larrimore wasn’t one of the good guys,” she said. “Neither is Kingsley. So I don’t know why I was so shocked.”

“Sudden, unexpected death is always shocking,” he said. “Especially when it’s a murder.” He patted the bed. “Sit down and tell me what you’ve been doing. Did you call Gideon?”

She sighed. She wanted to avoid Dev for a while. Needed to steady herself. Banish the memories she’d made in his bedroom until she was able to pack them away and ignore them.

But that wasn’t possible right now. They were in this together. In it until Kingsley had been held accountable for his crimes. She couldn’t escape until this was over.

So she closed her eyes. Gathered her composure, then looked directly at Dev. “I did, and it helped to focus on work. He has some information for us. Stuff he didn’t want to tell me over the phone. So I asked him to fly out here. He’ll be here tomorrow, and I told him we’d pick him up.”

“Glad to hear that,” he said. “Must be good stuff if he didn’t want to talk about it over the phone.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said. She gave him a smile that was only a little strained. Trying to change the subject, get them back on the right track, she asked, “Did you find a place where we could meet Simon?”

“I did, as a matter of fact,” he said. His gaze held hers for a long moment, and she saw regret in his eyes. Disappointment that they were back to the status quo.

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