Page 45 of Follow Your Bliss

He snorted. “Speed 2.Baby Geniuses.Left Behind.Look Who’s Talking Now?”

“OhmygoshMSTK3000!” I grabbed it up from the pile.

“Oh yeah, I love these guys.Viking Women and the Sea Serpent.Perfect.”

I curled up on the sofa bed while he started the movie. He tossed me one of his pillows before flopping down right next to me, wafting the clean, masculine scent of his body my way. He’d left his deodorant on the counter earlier, one of those Manly Old Spice deodorants with a ridiculous name, like DragonSteed or SeaDeity. I’m not too proud to say I took a whiff of it before bed then spent some time combing through his photos for crotch shots. I thought for sure there’d be a curve or a bulge that would satisfy my imagination. But less than ten disappointing photo zooms later, I closed the app and laid there too revved up to sleep for a while.

And now, sitting this close to all that inviting bare skin was extremely distracting. But before long we were laughing together at the robots’ jokes. We both kept jockeying for a more comfortable position, and we finally laid with our heads close together, sharing commentary on the movie.

“Don’t you wonder how some of these movies got made?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he laughed, his deep voice close to my ear. “They’re so ridiculous.” Long minutes passed while the Viking women tried to free their men from the overlord. “Rose, can I ask you something? And if you don’t want to answer it, just tell me to fuck all the way off.”

His face was only a foot away from mine, and his big brown eyes sparkled in the flickering light from the TV. But he wasn’t looking at me.

“Okay.” My heart rate sped up.

“Actually, two questions.” He licked his lips and pulled at the inseam of his shorts as if giving his package breathing room. “What’s a cock ring? And do I need one?”

I cackled and sunk a little closer to him on the sofa.

He laughed stiffly, his smile not reaching his eyes. “Don’t laugh! I was afraid to Google it and see something I couldn’t unsee. You don’t have to answer if it’s weird that I asked.”

“No, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard.” The MSTK3000 bad guys were locking Joel up again, and the bad movie resumed. “It’s a sex toy—a ring that goes over a guy’s cock, like at the base? They can be used just for fun, but they can also help men with erectile dysfunction.”

“Well I don’t have that problem,” he proclaimed loudly, in true proud male fashion.

I snorted. “Of course not.”

“So when you say just for fun, do you mean like, flying solo or with a partner?”

“Either. Both. Some vibrate, and some are designed with ribbed surfaces for clitoral stimulation. Which is nice, because most people with a vagina can’t achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex alone.”

His eyebrows rose and came together. This was clearly new information for him. “Really. So they need…”

I raised my eyebrows. “Clitoral stimulation,” I supplied, nodding my head.

He shifted uncomfortably and only glanced once at my eyes. “Yeah. That.”

“If you can say penis, you can say clitoris. It’s just a body part. In fact, it’s a lot like a penis.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Seriously! It’s made of the same erectile tissue.”

He pulled his pillow closer. Adjusted his shorts around his package again. I tried to see what was going on down there, but the shadows foiled me. Curses.

“But it’s a lot smaller, though, right? I mean…”

I stared at him. “You think a clit’s just that little nub, don’t you?”

He raised his eyebrows and finally met my eyes. “It’s not?”

“Oh poor, sweet summer child.” I grabbed my phone and started sending him links. “There’s an artist—Sophia Wallace. You need to watch her TEDx Talk because you obviously know nothing about the clitoris. The love button is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s like…I don’t know, like a double-wishbone shape? It’s made of erectile tissue, just like a penis. But unlike one, clitoris owners are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms without a refractory period. It’s the only organ whose function is purely for pleasure. Did you know that?”

He shook his head, eyes still firmly trained on the movie while his phone vibrated with all my sex texts.

“Here. Here’s a good article on sex toys that explains how they all work, and here’s a link to a reputable shop, which has even more information. Always buy from a reputable shop and not from a massive online marketplace, because that isn’t something you want to buy used.”

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