Page 65 of Follow Your Bliss

“Apparently. I haven’t seen the contract yet, so I’m not sure how it reads. I mean, she said Icoulddate. They can’t dictate that. But if I dated someone, I’d have to keep it ‘under wraps.’” I took my right hand off the steering wheel to put the last two words in air quotes.

“For how long?” Her voice was soft. She was looking out the window now, her posture pulled back from her earlier in-my-space excitement.

My heart sank. I couldn’t bear to let this scare Rose off. “A year. More if they still want me and I still want to do it.” A deep breath in. “So…I asked to think about it to buy time.”

She nodded but said nothing. Long minutes went by.

“I’d give almost anything to know what you’re thinking over there,” I said.

She smiled, but her smile lost its steam. “Well, neither of us shut down rumors from the sewing video, so you’d have to do that. And…I don’t know.”

If she saidwe might not even be together a year from nowI would be devastated. Surely we were both thinking it, but I didn’t want either of us to voice it.

The air conditioner blew her long hair back, and she fooled around with the vents for a minute. I’d want her in a year, I’d want her in thirty years. Maybe I was a complete and utter imbecile to feel this way so fast, but denying my feelings had gotten me into too many bad situations in the past. I wouldn’t do it again.

“Say the word, and I’ll say no,” I blurted.

Her head swiveled to me. “Jason! No way! I would never ask you to do that. That’s—no. We only slept together. A few times,” she conceded. “You can’t make life decisions based on how they affect me.”

Dread sank through my body into my feet leaving my stomach cold and nauseated. She thought all we were was one night of sex?

My heart raced. I swallowed hard, training my eyes on the road and willing myself not to get light-headed with anxiety. “I kinda thought…I was hoping we were more than a one-time thing. But if that’s not how you feel, I’ll—”

Her hand landed on my thigh in a squeeze. “No, no! That’s not what I meant at all. I don’t think we’re a one-time thing.”

I exhaled with relief and took her hand in mine. “Cool,” I blurted stupidly.

She smiled. “Cool. All I meant was that I think you have to make decisions that are right foryourlife. And if they want you to appear single…I don’t know.”

“We could…keep things under wraps.” I cringed as it came out of my mouth.

“You mean keep us a secret? From them, from social media, from the public?” She huffed a small laugh. “‘From the public,’ like we’re celebrities. I mean, youwillbe.” She squeezed my hand once and took hers away. “You kinda are already.”

She didn’t seem angry, but the sad look on her face hurt my heart.

I briefly squeezed her thigh. “All I know is that I’m excited about us.”

She glanced at me and smiled. “Me too.”

“And I’m also terrified to find out how many trees came down on my house and how many thousands of dollars of damage I have that I can’t afford.”

“That you can’t affordyet,” she said softly. She pulled out her tablet. “Let me know if you want to switch out. I don’t mind driving.”

“That’s okay. I’d go crazy sitting there with nothing to do.”

“You could design my mom’s dress for me. I’m sure she’d love to see your ideas.”

I huffed a laugh through my nose. “Yeah. That wouldn’t be a disaster at all.” I turned up the radio and applied all my thoughts to the road. Literally and metaphorically, I didn’t know what lay ahead.

It was almost 6:30 in the evening when we made it to New Orleans. The closer we got to home, the more torn-off roofs and stranded cars we encountered. Standing water blocked the interstate down to only the left lane at one point, and a detour onto Airline Highway bypassed the Pontchartrain Expressway, which was still underwater. And everywhere, downed trees.

I rubbed my beard, more nervous than ever when we got into our neighborhood. Everywhere, people were out cleaning up branches and leaves, throwing out wet carpet. Trees were uprooted on every street. “I don’t like this. I’m gonna find all five of those oak trees near the church,insidethe church.”

Rose rubbed and squeezed my thigh. “Whatever we find, it’ll be okay. Nobody was hurt, and anything else can be fixed.”

“You’re right, but Rose?” I looked at her sideways through narrowed eyes. “How is turning me on supposed to help at this point?”

She laughed and slipped her hand under my shorts, rubbing her fingernails gently up my thigh. Higher. “Oh, this is turning you on? I had no idea it would do that.”

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