Page 79 of Heart of the Summer Queen

“Because you should,” I begin, “after everything I’ve done. Any sane person would.”

“Then I mustn’t be sane,” he murmurs, playing with a lock of my hair in his fingers.

I blink, confused. “You don’t hate me?”

“No.”

“But this morning . . . ”

He sighs, releasing my hair. “There are many things I should not have said, and I am sorry for it.”

“Last night,” I say, slowly. Carefully. “Was that a mistake?”

He looks away. “Yes.”

My heart sinks. I try to pull away, but he holds me fast.

“And no.” He swallows. “Adara, I don’t know.”

“If that’s how you feel, maybe you’re right.”

He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I am sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

Hard though it is to face the truth, we’ve both ignored our feelings for too long and now wounds fester between us. If we don’t have this conversation tonight, we never will.

“Why did you pull away?” I dare to ask. “Aren’t you furious with me?”

“No, not furious.” He exhales deeply, releasing my hand to lie beside me. “You must understand, this is difficult for me. Even now, being this close.”

“I’ll understand if you can never forgive me,” I say. “Anyone could understand that.”

“I forgive you, Adara. I forgave you the moment I understood the reason for your hatred. I know how much you loved your sister, and I am the one who took her from you.”

“Not out of cruelty.”

“No,” he says softly. “Not out of cruelty.”

I roll to face him. “But I don’t understand. If you aren’t furious at me, if you don’t hate me, why did you pull away?”

“I never meant to hurt you, and I am deeply sorry if I have.” He runs a hand through his hair, staring at the ceiling.

I study his strained expression until it becomes clear he has no intention of answering my question.

Deciding not to press him further, I turn away. At least he no longer hates me. Even if things will never again be the same between us, his forgiveness is more than I deserve.

This time, when I close my eyes, the peace of knowing he has forgiven me allows sleep to find me more easily.

I’m just drifting off as Elaric says, “I don’t want you to feel forced to be with me.”

My eyes snap open at once. “What do you mean?”

“I will honor what I said before we left the palace about annulling our marriage,” he says. “You needn’t stay married to me if you—”

I whirl around to face him. “I don’t want to annul our marriage.” The statement is bold, vowing to spend a lifetime with this man, but right now, I do not care. All I know is that I want him, that I wish so much for everything to be as it was.

“But you married me because you hated me,” he whispers. “To kill me.”

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