Page 64 of Heart of the Summer Queen

His arms sweep around me, enveloping me in warmth. My pulse thrums feverishly. “How about now?” His murmur caresses my hair.

I lean deeper into him, my own arms wrapping tentatively around him. “Yes,” I whisper. “Thank you.”

“You must rest,” he tells me, “especially after enduring so much today.”

I nod against his shoulder, though I make no attempt to unwind my arms.

After a pause, his grip loosens. I worry he will withdraw, taking away all his warmth. But then he guides us both down onto the grass, keeping me tucked against him.

“Will you manage to rest like this?” he asks, his breath tickling my ear.

The uncertainty is obvious behind those words: Do I mind lying with him like this, wrapped only in a blanket and his arms, when all I’ve ever done is push him away?

I inch back, closing that last bit of distance between us. “I will.”

With that, any lingering doubt is dissolved, and Elaric’s arms wrap around me even tighter. Eyes fluttering shut, I focus on his chest rising and falling behind me, his heartbeat a soothing rhythm.

Before long, I drift to sleep, sheltered in his arms.

twenty-three

I’m not sure how long passes before I stir, but Elaric still cradles me fiercely even in his sleep. The weight of slumber shrouds my mind, and for a while I simply lie there, watching the shadows flicker across the trees. Everywhere I look is chained by ice, not a single leaf or bush spared.

Given how far Elaric’s magic has spread, it seems I was asleep for several hours.

I sigh, knowing how much he will hate to see its effects on the surrounding area. But nothing can be done about it right now.

Elaric is lying so motionlessly behind me I’m certain he must be asleep. Having no wish to disturb his rest, I carefully shuffle around in his arms until I’m facing him.

My gaze drifts over his features: the sharpness of his jaw, the gentle curve of his lip, the stubble powdering his face. In the low light his hair appears silver and looks so soft and silken, much unlike mine.

It’s rare I’ve had the opportunity to examine him closely, but now he’s asleep, I can admire him at my leisure, without him knowing.

Yet the more I study him, the more difficult it becomes to stop myself from reaching out and touching his face. All the while, my heart aches with the realization that this is what we could have shared, had I not been so blinded by my revenge. Had I stopped to consider there might be more to my sister’s disappearance than I first believed.

But now everything is shattered between us. I blink back tears to stop them from falling. Regret surges through me.

And guilt. So much guilt.

If only I could take back what I did. If only I could glue back together the fragments of what we once had. But I fear in trying to do so, I would inflict more damage to the fragile remains.

All I can do is lie here and savor the way it feels to lie in his arms, mourning the ghost of what we once shared.

So deep in my own thoughts, I’m slow to notice that Elaric’s eyes have opened. That he is staring back at me just as intently.

The breath catches in the back of my throat. It’s loud enough I’m sure he hears it. But his eyes don’t leave mine.

“Adara,” he murmurs, reaching out and brushing away the damp curl which has fallen from the ribbon and into my face.

My heart pounds in my chest. I should say it now. Everything. Even if he never forgives me.

But it’s so silent, and this moment feels so delicate. I have no wish to trample over it with my messy emotions.

And most of all, I’m terrified.

“You were gone for so long under the water,” he says gently. “Even after you emerged unharmed, I thought you would freeze to death before my very eyes.” His fingers trail across my cheek, and he tips my chin up to meet his gaze. “The thought of losing you was unbearable.”

“Elaric,” I whisper, not knowing what else to say. I should tell him I don’t want our marriage to be annulled, but then I’ll bemaking a promise I don’t know if I can keep. I’ve already hurt him so much. I can’t let him down again.

---