Page 25 of Heart of the Summer Queen

I turn away from them both, my eyes instead settling on the sealed door which leads to the king’s chambers. I wonder whether he’s still sitting where I left him, thinking about my answer to his question, or whether he has already gotten dressed and left to go about his business for the day.

“It’s all right,” Elona says, giving my hand a pat. “You needn’t tell us if you do not wish to. Just know that we are both here to talk if you change your mind.”

As much as I want to explain the reason for my anguish, saying it aloud proves difficult. But I should have told them of my pain when I first arrived. If I had, perhaps this entire disaster could have been avoided. It’s time I learned from my past mistakes and put these painful lessons into practice.

Besides, Elona and Kassia are more than just maids. They’re my friends, and I mustn’t keep pushing them away.

Bracing myself, I face them both. “The king asked me if I wished to annul our marriage.”

“He wants to annul it?” Kassia exclaims.

Elona’s eyes narrow. “What did you say, milady?”

“I . . . I agreed.”

They glance at each other, and I lower my head.

“Have you spoken to His Majesty about how you truly feel?” Kassia asks softly.

Sensing a scolding on the horizon, I decide not to respond.

“Adara!”

I wait for Elona to admonish her from speaking so familiarly with me, but she does not. Apparently, even Elona is so frustrated with me she no longer cares for etiquette.

Kassia shakes her head. “Can’t you see that this is what’s gotten you both into this mess in the first place?”

“What is?” I mumble.

“The two of you keep avoiding talking about how you feel,” Kassia says, “and all it’s doing is creating one disaster after another. What if His Majesty feels similarly to you? What if his own feelings are conflicted? Maybe you’ll both decide that annulling the marriage is for the best, but at least you will have discussed it together properly and laid everything out in the open.”

What she says is right, and I know I should face him soon because discussing this matter will grow more difficult by the day, but Kassia wasn’t there to witness the bath incident. As ridiculous as the whole thing was, it reignited confusing feelings within me.

“If it would make it any easier for you,” Elona adds, “we can accompany you to the king’s chambers?”

“It’s all right, thank you.”

At that, Kassia lets out a heavy sigh. Though her previous outburst received no stern retort from Elona, now she receives a warning glare. Kassia shrugs, and Elona doesn’t press the matter beyond that and instead watches me.

“Maybe you’re right that we should talk through everything properly first,” I say, “but it won’t change that this annulment is what the king wants. I attempted to poison him, and I drove a blade through his chest. Why would anyone wish to stay married to someone after all that?”

“But maybe if you talk about things then he’ll understand you care about him and regret your choices?”

“I’ve already hurt him enough... and I don’t deserve his forgiveness. It is best we go our separate ways once we break his curse.”

“If that is what you believe is for the best, milady,” Kassia says.

I can’t help the twinge of doubt which rises, but I push it down. This situation is already so messy, and it’s best Elaric is freed from it.

Thisisthe right decision.

I exhale deeply and say, “Thanks for listening to me, both of you.”

“A conflicted heart is a painful one,” Elona says. “We’re both here whenever you need us.”

Since I lost Dalia, I’ve not had anyone to speak to. She was always the person I would turn to, and when she vanished, I had no one to talk through my grief with. Only my father, and he was broken for so long afterward. Maybe if I’d had Kassia and Elona to talk to, I’d have seen everything more clearly instead of being consumed by pain.

I know I’ve made many mistakes, but nothing can excuse what I have done and I can’t change the past. All I can do is focus on the future and that means freeing both Elaric and my sister from the curse.

---