Page 95 of Better Left Unsaid

I loved Dom Deluca.

I, Maria Morelli, loved my best friend, Dominic Deluca.

Why hadn’t I ever seen it before?

“Maria,” Perla asked as Bianca waved a hand in front of my face, “are you going to say something?”

Of course, this explained why I’d been spiraling not having him in my life.

Why I’d been panicking over the idea of him leaving for any length of time.

And most importantly, why any relationship I’d ever had with another man always ended. . . . Because they weren’t Dom.

Finally, I released a breath and smiled. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m good because I know now. I love Dom,” I announced.

Allie smacked herself on the forehead. “Duh! What took you so long to see it?”

I turned around and hugged Jade who was sitting next to me on the couch. “Thank you!” Let’s face facts, on some level Jade had a hand in my recognition. Really, all my sisters did, but Jade’s part meant the most to me. Then I reached out, outstretching my arms and waving my fingers, so we could have a group hug.

When we finally separated, Bianca asked, “So what now?”

My eyes grew wide, and I stood up as reality came crashing on me like a tidal wave. “Now? Nothing.” I had thought I needed to figure this out quick—before he left—but that was wrong.

“What?” Allie practically shouted.

Perla rolled her eyes. “Come on. You can’t be serious.”

“I’m too late,” I admitted. It wasn’t necessarily true that I was late but think about it—Dom had this amazing offer in Italy, he seemed genuinely interested in it, he only wasn’t accepting it because of me. He’d said so himself. Rushing to confess my feelings now would only stop him. I couldn’t do that.

“You’re not too late,” Jade said, practically groaning.

I understood where they were coming from, but it was about damn time I was the kind of friend to Dom he’d always been to me. On some level, I felt like I’d done him dirty all this time. Shouldn’t a great friend have seen the signs that he was in love with them? Maybe I was so stuck in my own world that I didn’t see the signs. Or didn’t want to. Part of me felt like I’d closed myself off for so long that I’d never stopped to even consider the idea that my best friend could love me. Or that I’d loved him. And why would I? Because I’d assumed the rules we’d made were simple, keeping things neat and tidy. But life wasn’t neat, and it sure as shit wasn’t tidy. It was messy and beautiful and filled with love. It was also filled with tough decisions, like the one I had to make now.

I exhaled a loud breath that came out like a siren-style whistle. “You don’t understand. If I tell Dom how I feel, then he won’t go to Italy.”

“Good!” Bianca shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

I shook my head. “Not good. He’s always put me first. He’s done everything to make me happy, it’s what he told me after I all but said I didn’t feel the same way as him. He told me all he’s ever wanted was for me to be happy.” I felt tears sting my eyes. It killed me because I finally knew how I felt for my best friend. I finally knew I loved him, and I couldn’t—correction: didn’t feel like I should—say anything.

“Oh, sweetie,” Jade said, and they all came over and gave me another hug, this time a sad, comforting one instead of like the celebratory one just moments earlier.

I sniffled. “I can’t take this opportunity away from him, and I can’t very well go with him. I have Isabella and work and a whole life here. A life I can’t walk away from for six weeks.” The tears I’d been holding at bay began flowing out of me, sliding down my cheeks and leaving a slight burning sensation on my dry skin—I’d cried a lot lately, so it happened. “Six weeks is a long time. He’d already said that same thing, and he won’t go because of the time it’ll put between us. I can’t have that. I’m going to do what he’s always done for me and make sure he’s happy. Like truly, truly happy.” I sobbed. “Then when he’s back, I’ll reevaluate and try to tell him.”

Jade rubbed my back. “Don’t you think that telling him you love him, too,nowwould make him happy? I think it would.”

I shrugged. Maybe it would, but not in the same way. It’d be a purely selfish move because I’d be doing it so he didn’t leave, so that I didn’t have to feel a gaping hole in my heart for the next six weeks. Or so that I wouldn’t have to live with my heart in my throat, wondering if he would or had met someone. If he did, I’d live with it. I’d have to. As long as he was happy. That was what friendship and love were all about, right? “It’s different. He works so hard, and Dom loves Italy. I want him to live his life and not feel weighed down by me.”

Allie put her tongue in her cheek. “I think you’re wrong, but I support you.”

“Same,” the rest of my sisters said in unison.

I nodded. “I just think in this case, it has to be one of those things where I set him free, and if we really belong together, if we’re meant to be, then we’ll find our way back to each other when he’s back.”

Honestly, I wasn’t sure even I believed what I was saying, but it would have to do. I only wished I’d known my feelings for him a lot sooner. Maybe things would have been different right now. Maybe they wouldn’t have. That was the tricky thing about life—you never really knew.

I’d always like to take the reins, but trusting and letting myself believe that what was meant to be would inevitably be was something new for me, yes, but it was also making this a little bit easier.

Notice my distinct use of the phrasea little bit.

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