Page 71 of Better Left Unsaid

Bianca waved her hands every which way. “Forget that now. Who is eating black licorice? I’ve never known any of you to like it.” She tossed it to the side. “I certainly don’t, and I know my palate hasn’t changed.”

Jade shot a hand up and got up, meandering over to the kitchen. “I do!” She grabbed one and put it in her mouth, sighing happily as she swallowed a bite. “It’s the superior licorice. Red is fine, but eh.”

“Okayyy,” Bianca replied, shaking her head. “So why are we having a sleepover anyway?”

Allie hopped off the counter and sloshed in her slippers. “Jade wants to know about Mom. Maria said she wanted to hear stories about her.”

I nodded, bringing a finger that had chocolate syrup on it to my mouth. I let the flavor linger on my tongue for a moment and then closed my eyes, thinking back to what Dom said about how I always moaned when I enjoyed what I was eating. I supposed he was right—yet again—because I was just about to moan.

My cheeks heated, and I tried to push the thought far, far down.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Jade asked, circling a finger in front of my face.

I threw her a dirty look that I could only hope said what I was trying to silently communicate to her—don’t draw attention to me, then they’ll harp on it.

Even though she backed off and continued eating her licorice, Bianca had already picked up the thread. “You’ve been really weird lately.”

Had she been talking to Allie?

Perla finished braiding Isabella’s hair and patted her back. “There you go,” she whispered. “Go to the bathroom and take a look.”

Isabella oohed and aahed, playing with her hair. “Okay! Thank you, Aunt Perla.”

“You’re welcome, Peanut.”

Isabella went off to the bathroom with a skip in her step. She loved being doted on. The more attention she got, the happier she was. I supposed just as was with every kid her age. “You look very pretty,” I shouted to her.

“It’s best to get secrets off your chest, Maria,” Allie said, her eyes practically burrowing a hole through mine. “Anything you have to tell us?”

I gave her wide eyes and narrow lips. “No.” Then I turned to the rest of them and swallowed. “Of course not. Listen, I don’t know what you’re getting at, Bibi, but everything is just as it always is. Nothing new here.”

Perla crossed her arms. “Honestly, I agree with Bibi on this one. Between that photoshoot with Dom”—she whispered the last part, her eyes darting to the bathroom to make sure Isabella wasn’t coming back out—“and Allie said you canceled hot yoga with her. What’s going on?”

Did I tell them? I supposed I should, right?

But now hardly seemed like the time or place for that, especially with Isabella here.

Plus, then it’d be just like it had been with Allie—pure disappointment. That Dom and I weren’t more than what we were. That it had been going on for so long. Then there’d be the questions. Endless questions. Truth be told, I didn’t think I’d even have answers for all of them. At one point, yes. But not anymore.

My head told me the best thing I could do was take a break from the benefits part of my relationship with Dom. That would make the most sense.

My heart told me I needed to continue being with Dom, that with him was where I belonged. But in what way? Sexually? Was this all about how happy (read: satisfied) he made me in bed? Or was it about more? I didn’t have time to sit with my thoughts and think about my feelings. And, frankly, I didn’t want to. Part of me was scared I’d broken one of our rules and become emotional.

That would only lead to heartbreak, though. I didn’t see how it’d end differently.

Just as I was about to say something, Isabella came out of the bathroom, flipping her hair this way and that way. “I love it! What do you think, Mommy?”

I smiled, bending down and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I think you found Mommy’s lipstick,” I said, noting the red lipstick on her lips and tapping her on the nose. “You’ll have to take that off before your bedtime.”

“I wanted to look pretty like you, Mommy,” she replied, smiling from ear to ear.

I kissed the top of her head. “That’s sweet, but you look pretty no matter what. You don’t need my lipstick for that.”

“Okay. I’ll only wear it for dance.”

I got up and pushed my hair to one side. “You know, your nonna used to dance in school just like you.”

Isabella’s eyes went wide, and Jade asked, “Really? She was a dancer?”