Page 51 of Better Left Unsaid

The downside? These were not thoughts I needed to have right before going to pick Maria up. I almost wished I wasn’t going to see her. But she was struggling with Jade because she was struggling with Regina, so it didn’t matter what I wanted. A promise was a promise, and I’d promised that I would pick her up and take her somewhere.

She needed to find peace with this whole ordeal with her mother and Jade, and I was certain I knew just how to help.

Chapter Sixteen

Maria

Maybe it wasa bad idea that I talked to Dom about Perla and this whole Jade situation.

He always wanted to fix things. He never liked to see me and my sisters fight, but more importantly, he didn’t like to see me anything but happy.

That should say something, right? Was that all friends, or was that just us?

It was like ever since we’d played chess (yes, that was a euphemism), and I’d looked at him, like really looked at him, I couldn’t help but think about these things. Question them.

Ugh, maybe I was looking into things too much.

This much I knew to be true: if the world was ending, it was Dom who I wanted by my side, which was why the first person I went to most times about any and everything was Dom. That didn’t mean anything more than we were great friends, did it?

Just as I was about to ask Dom once again where we were going and if he was sure we had to do this now, I watched as he pulled into the parking lot of our church. “Why—”

“It’s time, Maria.” Dom shut Spitfire off and turned to face me.

I couldn’t be sure where he was going with this. “That I pray on it?” I asked.

He looked more serious than I’d ever seen him look, especially lately. “In a manner of speaking, yes. I think you need to light a candle for your mom.”

Inwardly groaning, I turned to look out the window. “I don’t know, Dom,” I said, my eyes intent on the trees outside just so I didn’t have to make eye contact with him anymore. “I haven’t done that in a while. It feels wrong.” I swallowed hard, certain that I was a horrible human. I sounded horrible. Downright evil. But I couldn’t seem to reconcile my feelings. How could I pray for my mother and her soul or honor her memory when I was so torn up about her lately?

“Because you’re mad at her?”

At his question, I turned to look at him, but he was staring out the window now, too, obviously picking up on my feelings. I expelled a deep breath of air. “Yes, because I’m mad at her,” I confirmed, looking up at the Blessed Mother statue that sat in a nook outside the wall of the church building. “If I really think about it, I’m furious—” I came to an abrupt halt, no longer able to hold back emotions that had been on the surface for far too long, just waiting to break free. Hot tears pooled in my eyes and just kept coming, running down my cheeks until I sobbed into my hands. Inhaling a sharp breath, I finally said, “She lied to me. She was a liar.”

“Regina made a choice. Some may argue it was the wrong choice, but that doesn’t make her a liar. It makes her human.”

“I haven’t been inside a church since before Allie unearthed that godforsaken chest in Dad’s attic that led to all of this—us knowing about Mom’s secret baby.”

“And all your feelings and confusion,” Dom supplied.

I nodded. “I can’t go in there, Dom.” I closed my eyes, not sure I could take much more. A person had a breaking point, you know, and I might’ve just reached mine. Things were going so well. I was finally enjoying life, having fun (yes, with Dom), and able to forget, but that was all blown to smithereens.

The reality was, even if Perla hadn’t said what she had, I probably would’ve reached this point anyway because. . . well, Jade. There wasn’t much more to it than that. She was around. She was in our lives. There was no turning back.

Suddenly, I felt Dom’s warm hand clasp over mine, and it felt like a jolt of electricity shot through me. “We can stay out here as long as you need to.”

Why did he have to do that? He was so understanding about everything. And patient, he was extremely—almost abnormally—patient.

My gut clenched. “Is leaving not an option?”

His voice was low and filled with compassion, but he still wasn’t letting this one go. “I think we both know it’s not.” I knew why he was doing it—for me. How did I get so lucky to have a friend like him?

I sighed, not for the first time since we got here, and turned in my seat so I could look at Dom. And I mean really look at him. “You’re awfully invested in this.”

“I’m invested in you, Maria,” he said, his gaze never once wavering. “You’re hurting. And, frankly, I don’t like seeing it.” My heart clenched at his words because no one had ever cared as much as Dom did. It was like he could see right through me. It was unnerving and one of the most beautiful things I knew I’d ever experience.

I tried to read his expression by gazing into his eyes, but they were dark and unwavering in his obvious determination.

His expression serious, he continued in his pursuit to make me see things his way. Some may argue the right way. That wouldn’t be me, though, just so we were clear. I wasn’t arguing that point. “Jade isn’t going anywhere, and I think you’ve made real progress where she’s concerned, but you’re still holding back. You still don’t accept her, not like you do Perla, Bianca, or Allie.”