Page 18 of Hollow Heart

The door shuts a moment later, and Lou sighs heavily.

“Did you even bother to learn her name first?” he asks.

I shake my head.

“What’s the point? It’s not like it matters.” I pop open a bag of Doritos.

“Everything you do matters, Felix. I’ve told you, we need to maintain your image as...”

“As what? A goody fucking two-shoes? Some poser ass rockstar who sings about shit he doesn’t actually do? You should be fucking thanking me, I did you and the label a favor.”

Lou’s face turns cherry red.

“Excuse me?”

“Fucking Karen was practically insinuating Sully and I were fuck buddies, which we were. But I’m not allowed to say shit about sucking dick because the label has their panties in a fucking bunch. Which is why if I stuffed my cock down Slutty Susie’s throat, she’d go tell all her little friends and anyone who’ll listen that she suckedmycock. That I demanded her to make mecum,” I bite. “And suddenly, no one’s thinking about Sully and Me. Ticket sales go up.”

Lou sighs, rubbing his jaw.

“Felix...”

“Besides, isn’t that what’s best for the fucking label? It’s not like anyone gives a shit about what I want, and you don’t care about Sully, period. You replaced him barely twenty-four hours after he walked out.”

Lou doesn’t respond, which only confirms my suspicion. I’d only been notified ofoneaudition, and Lou didn’t say he had any others lined up this morning.

I might not be the smartest crayon in the fucking box, but I know Lou, and I know he’d want this all tied up as neatly as possible as soon as fucking possible.

“You don’t need, Sully,” he says carefully.

“Yeah, apparently I need a washed up drummer from the fucking eighties instead.”

Lou’s hand wraps around my throat so fast, I drop my bag of Doritos.

“You listen here, you little shit. I know you’re upset, I know you’re licking your fucking wounds because Sully got your briefs in a fucking twist. But you will never speak of one of the greatest drummers of our time, and myfriendlike that.”

Lou throws me up against the wall, which makes me shake, knocking over several bags of chips on the floor.

“You need Duncan McKay to keep your fucking tour in tact. You need your tour to be successful, or the label will considerdroppingyou, because you are a piece of trash that has been riding on his looks and his attitude way too fucking long.”

My throat tightens as my stomach twists. I can feel the anger ebbing, boiling with something else.

Shame.

God, I need a fucking drink.

“Now, stop acting like a damn bitch, and get your shit together,” he says as he drops me.

I slide my hand around my throat, trying to rub away the pain, the tickle that makes me want to choke on a sob.

I say nothing as he slams the door in my face.

The pain, the loathing, and the guilt rear their ugly head. It’s like no matter what I do, I can’t escape the truth.

Lou is right.

I am a piece of shit, and no matter what I do, I will never be enough.

CHAPTER 7

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