Page 66 of Hollow Heart

Thanks to the rough night of sleep—two nights in a row—and the fact I haven’t had a drink in days, and Duncan McKay being five feet away from me sweating like a whore in church, I’m at my wit’s fucking end.

Eddie squares his shoulders. “Yeah, Felix, I am.” He sneers.

I press my nose against his, my lips curling back in an angry snarl, and I want to ring his neck.

“Iam the fucking band, asshole.Iam the show.Iam the reason for your fucking house in the hills. There is noPillars of Rockwithout Felix fucking Hart!”

A crash sounds behind us as Eddie pushes me.

“Really, because last I checked you were just a pretty drunk fuckboy who won’t shut up unless there’s a dick in his mouth.”

My fist connects with his jaw. Equipment crashes and his fist connects with my face.

I move to hit him, to hitanythingreally, as the anxiety and self-loathing kicks into gear along with years of self-preservation.

Until this moment, no one has ever said a word about my sexual preferences. It wasn’t like I was open about it; but then again, I wasn’t necessarily hiding it, either. At least, not from my band or Lou.

Lord knows everyone’s stumbled across me with my cock down some asshole’s throat, or on my knees.

It was an unspoken truth, something we didn’t talk about. Just like we didn’t talk about Sully’s penchant for pills, or Jinger leaving his house at three in the morning.

All in the name of fame and fortune, right?

Strong arms lift me from the ground, which only makes me hurt more. Because I recognize that strength, the way in which they pick me up like I am a sack of potatoes and not a person, and I hate that I like it.

God, I am so fucked up.

I twist and turn in Duncan’s arms, scrambling to try and get a hit on Eddie as Corpse holds him back, whispering something in his ear. Lou barges into the booth, his face so scarlet I think he might actually bust a vessel or have a damn heart attack.

“Enough!” he hollers.

Palo leans back in his chair, completely unbothered while Ted yawns.

I guess you’ve seen one band fight, you’ve seen ‘em all.

“Corpse, take Eddie outside.”

“I don’t—” Eddie spits as Lou spins, glaring at him.

“Everyone take fucking five,” he bites out.

Eddie breaks Corpse’s hold and I finally break Duncan’s.

I twist off of him, nearly falling on my ass in the process, leaving Duncan both stunned, and pissed off.

“Fuck all you, I don’t need this fucking bullshit. I don’t need you—” I fire as I look at Eddie, who spits at me.

“I don’t need you,” I hiss at Lou who looks more annoyed than anything.

“And I certainly don’t need you,” I growl at Duncan as I force my way past him, past Lou to the exit.

“I fucking quit,” I snap as Lou calls for Duncan, his words incomprehensible to me.

Duncan grunts, his footsteps behind me an echo.

I walk fast toward the dressing room slash lounge, wanting to get as far away from everyone as humanly possible, but it’s no use.

Duncan throws open the door and slams it shut no sooner than when I make it to the corner bar.

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