Page 23 of Hollow Heart

The kiss of cool air against my cockhead is a welcome relief, despite the fact the alcohol has dissipated.

When I’m drunk or high, I don’t have tothinkwhen it comes to sex.

Sully understood that.

I can just... be. I can do what Iwantto do, be the person I am without giving a shit.

When I’m sober, I have to constantly pretend to be someone I’m not.

I’ve been under the label’s microscope so long, I don’t know how to bemeconsciously.

You’re Felix Hart, start fucking acting like it.

The way Duncan stared me down, for a moment, it was like he understoodme.

Not the me that the label shows to the world; but the real me.

The one only very few people know.

“Fuck,” I growl as I pump my shaft, all of my muscles tightening as I arch my back from the couch.

I screw my eyes shut as I chase my orgasm, my breath catching in my throat.

I imagine large, calloused hands grabbing me by my shirt collar, throwing me over their shoulder like a ragdoll.

Dark and stacked like a brick wall, he towers over me, that dark look in his eye telling me to behave, like I’m a child.

Fuck, why is that so hot?

I groan as I come, hard and fast without warning. I cover my cockhead as warm, thick cum collects in my palm, slipping through my fingers as the world around me starts to spin.

My abs clench as my grip tightens and I hurriedly pump my shaft as I ride out the wave.

I stare at the ceiling, waiting for my breath to even out, waiting for the geyser of cum to stop spewing from my dick.

I can’t remember the last time I felt this good after masturbating, especially sober.

And alone.

When I finally start to soften, my heartbeat evens out. A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. It’s Lou.

“Five minute warning, Felix.”

I close my eyes once more nodding, even though he can’t see me.

Not that it would matter if he could, Lou’s seen me in a hell of a lot more compromising positions than with my own hand around my cock.

“Okay,” I call back shakily, but he doesn’t answer.

I force myself up, if only because I need to clean myself up, lest I want my hand to be stuck to my dick for the rest of rehearsal.

When I finally finish washing my hands, cock sated and tucked away once more, I let out a deep breath.

I look at my own reflection in the mirror, noticing the man staring back at me.

Familiar blue eyes and disheveled blond hair glow in the LED light in the bathroom. My irises have those LED sheen, a circle of light that makes me look possessed, but it’s not the eyes that scare me.

It’s the circles beneath them, the paleness of my own skin. The evidence of my stress, my pain.

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