Page 108 of Hollow Heart

“I mean, it was the eighties, you know,” I say quietly. I can see the fear reflected in his pupils, and I want to disappear.

Felix leans closer, his knee sliding between my legs as his bright eyes light up and he offers me a light smile.

“I mean, that was like thirty years ago. I’m sure you’re fine,” he states.

A pregnant pause forms between us and then he speaks.

“I’ve been getting tested regularly for a few years. My last test was a couple months ago. Got the all clear, in case you, uh... wanted to know.”

I nod. “I mean, it’s good to know.”

Felix sets his hand on my thigh lightly. “I know this is probably going to sound shitty, but I don’t know how else to say it, uh... so bear with me...”

My eyebrows knit together and I worry this is it. He’s going to tell me he no longer wants us to continue with...

What, exactly?

What is it that we’re doing here?

I know we’re fucking around, sort of, but it doesn’t feel like fucking around.

It feels... different.

Felix licks his lips, jiggling his lip ring.

“I’ve never waited this long before. For someone.”

My heart sinks at his words.

“Felix, I?—”

“But I think... I really fucking like you... and I think you’re worth the wait.” He closes his eyes, pursing his lips.

I realize as the words leave his lips, they aren’t true.

He doesn’tlikeme.

And I don’tlikehim, either.

I’m falling in love with him.

I pull him close, kissing him with all the fear, the worry, and the pain swirling inside of me.

I pull him closer into my lap and he follows without question. I wrap my arms around his waist, fingers trailing up his back as I press my lips to his. I’m hard within seconds, and so is he, and I have to remember to breathe.

I want him.

I want him so fucking bad it terrifies me.

“I think we need to slow down,” I say. Because the emotion swirling in my chest, the words in my throat that long to be known are new and exciting, but also scary.

I look up into his pretty blue eyes, my gaze dipping to his swollen lips, his sliver of metal.

“Right, of course.” He nods, swallowing nervously.

“And we need to head back to finish up rehearsal here.”

Felix’s gaze shifts, and he nods again.

---