No matter that I had no interest in beingjustfriends with her. That was something I did know for sure. Except in reality, I wasn’t sure I could be any more than that. This whole thing was too confusing. It was as if I was playing some kind of emotional ping pong game. One second, I was flirting with her, the next I was trying to keep things platonic, the next we’re fake dating, and now I was opening myself up to her in a way I’d never done with anyone.
I obviously had no clue what I was doing, and the safest thing to do now was to shut all this down until I could better figure out what the heck was going on with me.
I cleared my throat, breaking the spell. “Thanks,” I muttered.
Piper gave me a small smile, removing her hand and taking a sip of her latte, oblivious to my internal freak out. Thankfully, she didn’t push for more.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that this conversation had shifted something between us. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to face. I had let her see a side of me that was hidden from the outside world. And although we hadn’t gotten into the details, it had been a big deal for me. I still couldn’t figure out why I had told her. Was it the nerves? Had I gone from talking about her hair to telling her about my lack of family connection all because she made me nervous?
Up until I’d met Piper, it had been easy to keep women and relationships at bay. I hadn’t had a single person even tempt me to go back on my vow to never let anyone get close to me again—and especially to fall in love again. But Piper had a way of making me feel comfortable, at ease, with an effortless connection between us that called to me in a new but enticing way. I couldn’t ignore it.
And despite my attempts—albeit lame attempts—to not fall for my physical therapist, I was worried I was already headed down the steep slope that led to me falling for Piper.
Chapter17
Piper
Iwanted to ask more questions. Lots more. Like, why weren’t his parents in the picture? Where were they now? Why hadn’t his grandma wanted to take him in?
I hadn’t asked any of those questions, though. If he had wanted to share more with me, he would have. All I could do was be grateful he’d been comfortable enough to share what little he had. I was pretty sure none of what he had told me was public knowledge. The little bit of internet stalking I’d done on him in years past had only mentioned his parents’ names and that he’d grown up in Glacier Grove, getting his hockey start playing for the hometown Glacier Gators youth hockey team. Then any information about Zeke jumped to when he’d gotten his first NHL contract after college.
“What about you?” Zeke’s voice brought me back to the present. “Are you bringing a date?”
I nodded, hiding my smirk behind my cup of coffee.
His open expression turned into a scowl, which only made me want to smile more. Was it wrong of me that I was enjoying how much he didn’t like the thought of me bringing a date to the gala?
“Won’t that be weird since we’re supposed to be a couple?” he asked, trying to sound diplomatic, but I could hear the undertone of annoyance.
A twisted part of me wanted to see how far I could play out this scenario just to see if I could get possessive Zeke to come back out, a side of him I highly enjoyed. I’d replayed those moments from the Chicago game weekend too many times to count.
But I told him the truth instead. “I’m bringing my sister,” I clarified. “Not a guy.”
The crease between his brows disappeared, his smile showcasing his relief. “That’s a great idea.”
“I’m glad I have your approval.”
He looked chagrined. “Sorry. You definitely don’t need my approval. Although, I am happy your date is Quinn.”
“Me too,” I said. “I haven’t been a fan of actual dating as of late.” The words had spilled from my mouth without any thought.
Why had I just told him that? Why would he care about my recent dating habits?
“Because of what happened with Jordan?” he asked softly.
I wasn’t surprised by his question. He’d had a front row seat the last few times Jordan had apologized and tried to get me back. But I still didn’t want to talk about Jordan with Zeke. Not because I didn’t feel like I could, but because Jordan was the last person I wanted our conversation to be about. I wanted to leave Jordan in my past, and I didn’t want Zeke to think I was still hurting over what had happened. The only feelings that remained from my relationship with Jordan were annoyance and regret for having been so blind and naive.
I tilted my head from side to side, weighing my answer. “Yes and no,” I said. “What happened with Jordan was more of a reminder of why I shouldn’t have let myself get caught up in a relationship. I knew better than to open myself up to the chaos and uncertainty that being in a relationship with someone can bring. Watching firsthand how detrimental love can be had always helped me keep my heart out of the relationship equation. I just momentarily forgot when it came to Jordan. And I paid for it. Safe to say I won’t be doing that again.”
“What do you mean by watching firsthand?”
I hadn’t planned on saying that, and once it was out, I’d hoped he wouldn’t pick up on it, but no such luck. I guessed this was a coffee get-together where we shared a little about our pasts. If he could share something so personal with me, maybe I could share with him too.
I sighed. “My mom left my dad—all of us—when my sister and I were young. Said she’d fallen out of love with him and didn’t want to be a mom anymore.” I worked to keep the emotion out of my voice, like he had done when he was talking about his childhood. “The hardest part of her walking away wasn’t losing a mom—I barely remember her. It was watching my dad.” I hurried to push away the memories of him crying when he’d thought he was alone, of the hope in his eyes when he’d talk about her like she was coming back, of how he had never removed his wedding ring. “I’m pretty sure he loved her up until the day he died.”
“I’m so sorry.” He sounded both stunned and sad. “That must have been hard to watch.”
I nodded, forcing out a smile. “My dad was amazing, and she didn’t deserve him. He secretly pined for her for the rest of his life.” I shook my head, still not understanding why he could never let her go. “So,” I said as casually as I could, “you can see why falling in love never really appealed to me. I had a momentary lapse with Jordan, and now I am more committed to not going down that path a second time.”