Page 103 of Up All Night

“Now all I can think about is how much I want to be with her, but I don’t know how to be with her and be the employee and future heir of this company at the same time. I don’t know how to be what she needs and what you need.” I swallowed, steeling myself to say my next words. “As much as I love you and this company, I can’t keep living like this. I want to be what Halle needs, which means I can’t be everything you need.”

He remained silent as he picked up his phone again, and I couldn’t believe he was dismissing what I’d told him. Did he really not care that I’d reached my limit?

“Sheila,” he said into the phone. “I need you to reschedule my next meeting. Thank you.” He hung up the phone and leaned against his desk to look me in the eyes. “Oh, son,” he said, his voice somber. “I’ve really messed up here, haven’t I? Your mom would be furious with me.” He shook his head, looking disappointed in himself, which wasn’t something I saw on him often. “West, I’m sorry you’ve felt like you aren’t enough. I’m not the best at speaking my feelings, and I know I can be tough on you, but it’s only because I know you are more than capable of rising to the occasion. You’re the hardest working person here, me included. I couldn’t be more proud of what you have done and sacrificed for this company. There has never been a question on whether Vanderhall Capital will go to you once I step down. There is no one I trust this business with more than you. I love that you love it as much as I do.”

I sat there, stunned. I’d longed to hear these words from my dad for so long. He trusted me. He saw all my hard work and effort. He knew I was capable. I was his first choice—the only choice he wanted.

The pricking sensation of coming tears had me blinking fast.

“And as for Halle,” he continued. “If she is the one you want to be with, you need to be whatever she needs you to be. I know I work a lot, but I always make sure your mom is taken care of first. Her happiness is the most important thing to me. If she needs me, I’m there. None of this”—he gestured to the office around him—“would matter if she wasn’t by my side. So if you’ve found someone who makes you happy and who you want to spend your life with, you do what you need to win her over. Work will always be here, but she won’t.”

Was this the same dad, the same boss, I’d known for years? Was he really telling me to put work second? I’d always thought he’d put work first, but thinking about his and my mom’s relationship, they were still blissfully happy even after thirty years of marriage. You didn’t have that if both partners weren’t trying to make sure the other’s needs were met.

“I’m not sure I know how to not put work first,” I admitted quietly.

A crestfallen expression covered his features. “That’s my fault. This company means a lot to me, and I know I can get work-obsessed, but it doesn’t mean more to me than you do. I’m sorry I didn’t notice your struggles and that I haven’t been a good enough father to you.”

“Dad—”

He held up a hand to stop me. “No, it’s true. I’ve been so focused on getting you ready to take over that I lost track of how important it is to be your father first and your boss second. And for that I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you,” I said softly, wishing my eyes weren’t watering.

He leaned his arms against his desk, his all-business and take-charge demeanor returning. “Now, go home, shave that awful half beard you have going on, eat a good meal, and then go get Halle back.” The touchy-feely part of our conversation was now over, but more had been said than we had in years—maybe ever—so I was grateful for it.

I let out a chuckle. I hadn’t shaved for almost a week, since the last time I’d gone out with Halle. My facial hair grew in patchy, and it wasn’t a good look for me.

“If you need to take a couple days off,” he said, “we’ve got it covered here. And when you come back, we’ll discuss what a healthy work schedule looks like for you.”

I nodded, a real smile stretching my lips, a foreign feeling since I didn’t think I’d smiled once since saying goodbye to Halle.

“Thanks, Dad.”

I headed for the door, but his voice stopped me. “Oh, and West? Just a piece of advice. Don’t ever insinuate that a woman needs your help to succeed. Especially not to her. If you want to invest in her business, help her understand that you want to be a part of the success you know she will undoubtedly achieve.”

I nodded, wishing I had known that six days ago.

I quickly headed to my office to pack up my things. The first thing I was going to do when I got home was shave. Then I was going to eat a real meal instead of living off cereal and protein drinks. Once I was cleaned up and fed, maybe I could think well enough to figure out how I was going to prove to Halle that I was going to change. That Iwantedto change so I could be the man she deserved. The man who would shower her with love and devotion, who wanted to make her feel loved and happy for as long as she would have me.

29

Halle

As I walked through my apartment door, I thought I might scream from exhaustion.

I’d put in a full day training at the gym and then gone straight from there to the dress rehearsal for the dance recital tomorrow. It had been my last day doing double duty, and I could only hope that having one job while I got my dance studio up and running would be less exhausting, but I had a feeling it was going to require even more from me. I just needed to keep pushing through so I could finally get to a place in my life where I could have one job. One amazing dream-come-true job. That thought was the one thing keeping me going.

It had been a long night, but the performances and costumes looked amazing, and I couldn’t wait to watch all my dancers show off their hard work. I was going to miss them all so much. Some of my students would come to my dance studio in a heartbeat if I asked them, but I couldn’t do that to Maria. If they found out on their own and wanted to switch studios, that was their choice, but I wouldn’t actively recruit any of her students.

I shucked off my shoes and shuffled into the kitchen. It was almost nine, and I hadn’t eaten since this afternoon. I’d been keeping myself so busy that I had been skipping meals way too often. But I needed to stay busy to not think about West. Although I’m not sure why it mattered since I couldn’t sleep at night, knowing his bedroom was directly below mine. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, and I was working way too many hours. I felt like a zombie, and from what Kate had to say, I looked like one, too.

I opened the fridge, scanning the shelves for something to eat. There looked to be some kind of stir fry in a Tupperware container, and I assumed Kate had made enough to share. She was probably on the phone with Jax and would be for at least another hour or so. I was positive she wouldn’t mind if I ate it. She was worried about me and had tried several times to get me to slow down, to either go talk to West or snap out of whatever funk I was in. She didn’t want me to lose another piece of myself over a guy, and I was grateful for her concern. She meant well, and the advice she had given me was good, but I just couldn’t get past my self-doubts.

As I closed the fridge door, I screamed.

There, standing in my kitchen, was my mom.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said with a big smile. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

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