Page 87 of Up All Night

You have more of your mother in you than you think.

He’ll never want to be with you for the long term.

He’ll leave you like all the other guys did.

You’re not good enough.

I shook my head, hoping to somehow dislodge all these negative thoughts bombarding me. I tried to be a positive person, to have confidence in myself, and most of the time I succeeded. But when it came to guys, I was a mess. That’s why I didn’t want to date anymore. I did better when I was on my own.

My phone buzzed on my nightstand. I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet this morning. I’d been too busy obsessing about all things West as I stared up at my ceiling.

I reached for my phone and smiled when West’s name came up on the screen. Nerves fluttered through me as I tapped open the message thread.

West:Good morning, beautiful.

West:I’m not sure if I should be saying that to you, but you were the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning.

Oh, my cuteness. He was too good. This couldn’t really be happening.

Me:I’m glad you texted me. I thought about you as soon as I woke up, too.

West:Oh, really? Do share.

I giggled at his playfulness.

Me:I was thinking about how much you were going to love the smell of me making pot stickers today.

West:LOL. Can I make them with you? If I have to endure the smell, the least you can do is let me enjoy your company.

Okay, now he was being too cute. This was a whole new side of West I hadn’t experienced yet, but I was already loving it.

Me:Wow. You must really like me if you are willing to put yourself in such a stinky situation.

West:I do really like you.

Me:*blushing emoji

Me:Then do you want to come over tonight and make dinner together? We can make something less stinky.

West:I wish I could, but I have dinner with my parents tonight. Once a month we have a scheduled family dinner.

Me:I would expect nothing less of the Vanderhall family. :)

Me:Maybe another night then.

I tried to ignore my disappointment at not getting to hang out with him tonight. It was silly to be sad. I’d just spent all day with him yesterday. We’d gone plenty of days without seeing each other.

West:Why don’t you come with me?

I read his text a few times, not believing what he had asked. He couldn’t be serious. He wanted me to go to his family dinner? That seemed quick. Things were going well with us, but dinner with his parents wasn’t something I was prepared for. I didn’t even know what we were to each other. Were we friends who happened to kiss? Were we going to be friends with benefits? Yuck, no. Were we headed toward dating, trying out having a relationship? Those were some pretty big questions we needed to figure out before I went traipsing over to his parent’s house.

West:I’m taking your delayed response as a no…

I hesitated, but I was an adult so I would text him the truth about how I was feeling.

Me:I just don’t know what to say. I’m not sure what’s going on between us, and dinner with your parents seems like a big step.

West:I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw this at you unexpectedly. I just want to spend time with you. It wouldn’t need to mean anything if you don’t want it to. We can go as friends if that makes you more comfortable. I know Demi would love to see you again, too.

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