Page 86 of Up All Night

To onlookers, we probably looked like a young couple in love, but in reality we were two people claiming to be friends who had been open about not wanting a relationship, let alone with each other. I didn’t know what we were doing, but the thought of not kissing Halle again felt almost painful.

“As much as I want to keep kissing you,” I said, hoping she could see the truth in my eyes, “I should probably stop manhandling you in public.”

My comment put an amused smile on her face. “I rather liked how you were manhandling me.” She made no effort to remove her arms from around my neck. “But maybe not the public part as much.”

I agreed, but I was thankful we weren’t alone because my self-restraint seemed to be nonexistent when it came to her.

“Even if we hadn’t kissed, your day did beat mine,” I told her.

Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of my neck, and I reveled in the feel of her touch. “I think both of our days were pretty amazing.”

I lifted a brow. “So it’s a tie?”

“I guess it is.” She smiled and reached up to kiss me on the cheek. “Now let’s get you home before your nine o’clock curfew.”

Between her kisses and her teasing, I was far away from my earlier determination to keep things platonic. I couldn’t even remember why I wanted to do that. Yes, I remembered the part where it wasn’t smart for us to get involved, but as she grabbed my hand and led me back up the pier, a big smile on my face, I couldn’t seem to find a single reason to support that decision.

25

Halle

Remember how I said I wouldn’t fall for West Vanderhall?

Yeah, well, that was before I got to know him. And before I kissed him.

Holy smokes, could that man kiss. I don’t know how he did it, but he simultaneously kissed me tenderly like he was cherishing every second while also ravishing me like he needed to kiss me for survival. It was an art.

An art I was hoping I’d get to experience again.

Since we’d ended the day at my door last night with another earth-shattering kiss, I realized I was being naive. We’d had two wonderful Saturdays together, maybe the best days of my life. No, yesterdaywashands down the best day of my entire existence. Was I being over the top and slightly dramatic thinking that? Maybe, but after I had said good night to West and closed the door, still feeling the sensation of his lips on mine, I’d wanted to scream from the rooftops.

Kate had been in the living room on the phone with Jax (of course), watching a show together the only way they could when they were in different states.

She had taken one good look at me and seen the hearts in my eyes, telling Jax she’d have to call him back. Then I’d gushed over all the details of the day, not skimping on any details, especially not the kissing details. Maybe some people don’t kiss and tell, but that’s not me and Kate. We give each other all the juicy details because, hello, that’s one of the best things about having an amazing best friend.

But now that it was the next morning and the endorphins had worn off, doubt started to creep in.

I really liked West. Like, really, really liked him. Yes, he could be uptight and work-obsessed, but when he let himself relax enough to have fun and stopped constantly stressing about his dad’s expectations, he was dreamy perfection.

But West wanting to please his dad wasn’t going to go away because he was now interested in me. He would continue to be schedule-driven and constantly worried he wasn’t working enough. I didn’t fault him for that either. He and I couldn’t always have perfectly planned and unplanned days together. Real life would eventually set in, and I worried that when it did, things wouldn’t work for us in the end.

I was probably getting way too ahead of myself. Just because we’d had some incredible make-out sessions last night didn’t mean we were automatically heading towards dating or couplehood. Neither of us wanted to jump into a relationship. But neither of us had planned on each other unexpectedly coming into our lives.

And then there was the annoying voice in the back of my head that kept reminding me I was being an idiot. Hadn’t I just told West about all my failed relationships? All six of my boyfriends had dumped me. I’d love to say it had been all them, that I had just picked the wrong guys, but there had to be something wrong with me too. And eventually West would figure it out and end things between us.

The thought of that already had my stomach cramping in pain. We weren’t even together and the thought of losing him was physically painful. That wasn’t a good sign. I was so far gone for West, it was dangerous.

Then there was the whole problem with how I’d said I would never date a guy who was wealthy or good-looking. Maybe that sounded dumb, but life experiences had taught me I couldn’t trust myself when it came to looksandthat I didn’t want to follow my mother’s not-so-great example. Even though I was nothing like my mother and had worked hard to be financially stable on my own, there was still a small part of me that worried I would slip into her patterns, not realizing I was mimicking what I had seen as a child.

West wasn’t only ridiculously sexy, he would also eventually come into a large amount of money if his dad ever let him take over the family business.

I could already hear my mother’s voice saying how proud she was of me for finding a rich man to take care of me, that she had taught me right.

Ugh. I wouldn’t put it past her to say something like that to West, too. Would he think I was a gold digger? I couldn’t handle him wondering that about me. I didn’t care how much money he had. I just enjoyed being with him.

Gosh, I was really going down the rabbit hole right now. The fears and worries piled on top of each other.

People will think you are after his money.

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