Page 82 of Up All Night

“But you’re not open to dating,” I said more as a statement than a question.

She took her attention from the next obstacle and looked at me, as though she hadn’t realized what she’d said until I reminded her.

“Uh, yeah,” she said hesitantly. “Dating isn’t in my plans.”

I could have sworn a look of sadness passed across her features, but it had happened so fast that I couldn’t be completely sure. She gave me a small smile before turning back to her ball, making me wonder if I had misinterpreted her look simply because I wished I was a guy she would think about dating despite her rule.

Gosh, I was a mess right now. I didn’t know what direction was up or down. Halle had my feelings twisted so thoroughly that I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. Spending this much time together had messed with my head. I wanted to date her, but I didn’t want to date anyone because I was focused on my career. I wanted to spend more days like this with her, but I didn’t want to lose sight of my goal. I wanted her, but I knew it was dumb to want her. That knowledge didn’t clear up my confused feelings.

“I thought dating wasn’t in your plans either,” she said, bringing me back to our conversation.

“It’s not.” I didn’t look at her and instead pretended like I was really invested in my next shot as I squatted down to check out the slope of the green. “Work is my top priority.”

“Youronlypriority,” she said, gently correcting me.

She was right—it was. There was a part of me that wanted to apologize for that, but I couldn’t apologize for doing something that was so important to me. And I knew she wasn’t asking me to. She was merely pointing out the truth.

I stood as we looked at each other, a silent beat passing between us. The air was a tangible heavy sadness that settled around us. I didn’t know if she felt it, too, but I had a feeling we were both wishing our circumstances and hang-ups didn’t feel like huge mountains separating us.

24

West

Our mini-golf game ended with me beating her by one measly point, but I won nonetheless. I definitely didn’t gloat or do an embarrassing victory dance that had her doubled over in laughter. Halle definitely didn’t tell me it was worth losing just so she could witness how bad of a dancer I was. Yeah, that definitely didn’t happened.

With each passing minute I was feeling more and more comfortable with her, willing to show her my bad dance moves and all.

Now we sat outside for an early dinner at a place called Foreign Cinema. Lights were strung above us, and an independent film played on the wall of an adjacent building. It was an eclectic dining spot, and I couldn’t help thinking how well it went with Halle and her unplanned day.

While we waited for our food, I somehow got her talking about her ex-boyfriends again—I guess because I’m a glutton for punishment, and I’ll take any information I can get when it comes to Halle, even if I have to listen to her talk about her past relationships. I had to figure out why she was so against dating.

“But that was Jason for you,” she said, reaching for her water and taking a drink.

Jason, her fourth boyfriend, had been a bartender she had dated for a year. She’d met him at the bar where he worked, and she’d thought it would be exciting to date a big tattooed guy who rode a motorcycle. The thought of Halle being with some biker dude almost had me laughing. She was all sunshine and rainbows, and thinking of her with a guy who was dark and broody, all in black, just seemed odd to me. I wasn’t sure if he’d really been one of those broody bikers, but I couldn’t shake that image from my head. Although they do say opposites attract.

Like Halle and me.

No. Not like Halle and me. There was no attraction. We were making sure to keep a realistic separation between feelings and friends. No opposites attracting for us. We were oppositesexisting. I was sure that was a saying out there.

“Alcohol was a huge part of his life, professional and personal,” she continued. “I’m not a big drinker, so it was an area where we clashed enough that he dumped me. He claimed I wasn’t fun because I didn’t want to drink and party.”

That a guy would have broken up with Halle because she didn’t drink and party enough seemed bizarre to me. Or maybe that was because I’d never really been into the whole party scene, not even when I was in college. Even when Cannon had gotten me to go to parties, I’d usually left early.

“No offense, but he sounds like a jerk.”

She laughed lightly and waved me off. “No offense taken. I was relieved when he ended things.”

Her statement had me wondering why she hadn’t ended things herself, but before I could ask, she moved on to her next relationship.

“Next was Troy. He was the one who got me into working out. He was a personal trainer, and after working out with him, I discovered that I really enjoyed it, so I did an online course to become certified. That was the best thing that came out of our relationship. Without my trainer job at the gym, I wouldn’t have been in a position to apply for a business loan.”

Our waiter came and placed our dishes of hot food in front of us, pausing our conversation for a moment.

“And what happened with Troy?” I asked, wanting to learn why they’d broken up.

She placed her napkin on her lap. “Are you sure you want to hear all this? You can’t possibly be that interested in my relationship history.”

It might have been unconventional to discuss all her exes while on a date, but this wasn’t a date. We were just two friends hanging out and eating food. Friends could talk about past relationships without it being weird. Or at least that was what I was telling myself. It couldn’t be that I was trying to see if any of these guys had anything in common with me, or trying to find out the reasons behind her failed relationships. Again, not that I was thinking about dating her. It was all hypothetical.

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