Page 74 of Up All Night

He looked at me with what I hoped was sympathy and not pity in his eyes. “I’ve never had to work two jobs, but I do know how exhausting it can be to work so many hours. I’m sorry you’ve had to do it for so long.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know any different.”

Talking about my past failures was easier to deal with then my current lack of success.

“With Spencer, it was more of a relationship of convenience than anything else. Although at the time I didn’t feel that way. I was excited to be dating someone so different from Teddy. Spencer was responsible and extremely intelligent and didn’t wear eye liner.”

West’s laughter filled the restaurant, and a few people glanced our way. “Glad you set your standards higher after Teddy.”

“Spencer was definitely a step up,” I agreed. “But in the end, we didn’t last. He wanted someone who was more focused on planning for the future. He constantly tried to get me to apply for the local community college, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. I was more in survival mode in the present and wasn’t in a place to be thinking farther into the future than making it to my next paycheck. It bothered him that I was just a waitress and a grocery cashier, that I wasn’t moving toward a goal.”

A guilty expression filled his face, and it wasn’t until I realized what I had said that I remembered how he had told me he’d broken up with his high school girlfriend for similar reasons.

“Not sharing future goals is a very common reason to break up,” I said, hoping to make him feel better. “And Spencer broke up with me all on his own. His dad didn’t have any input.”

I could tell West still felt bad for how he had ended things with Abigail, but he shouldn’t take all the blame. His dad had a way of getting West to do whatever he wanted. And West kept jumping through whatever hoops his dad put in front of him, probably without even realizing how much control was being exerted. At the end of the day, he was still a boy who wanted his dad to be proud of him.

He stared at his wine glass. “Still. Breaking up with someone because they didn’t go to college is pretty low.”

I agreed but didn’t voice my opinion. He didn’t need me making him feel worse than he already did.

“My next boyfriend,” I said, quickly grabbing his attention and hopefully redirecting his thoughts away from the past, “was David. He worked for his dad, who owned a moving company. Neither of us had been to college or planned on going, so that was refreshing after dating Spencer. But since that was practically all we had in common, the relationship only lasted three months.”

Our waiter came and placed our food in front of us.

“This looks amazing.” My mouth watered at the delicious smell. I swirled my fork into the creamy noodles and took a bite. I held in a moan at how good it tasted, but I’m sure my face said it all.

“Stefano’s is one of the best Italian restaurants in the city for a reason.”

“I believe it,” I said around the bite of food I was still chewing.

He chuckled and took a bite of his food.

I dug in for another bite and was second-guessing my dress choice. Wearing something so fitted to an Italian restaurant probably wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had. I would totally be sporting a prominent food baby after this, but that wasn’t going to stop me from eating my entire meal. This pasta was too delicious to not eat every last bite.

As I was having a spiritual experience with my dinner, I realized I had been talking about my past boyfriends the entire time we’d been here. I wanted to smack a hand to my forehead. This wasn’t a date, but everybody knew you didn’t blabber on about your exes.

Knowing this wasn’t a date didn’t make it feel any less date-like, and it had been a while since I’d gone out with a guy. I’d only been on a handful of dates since breaking up with my last boyfriend, Jeremy.

Unfortunately, my mother had been right when she’d said he had done a number on me. My relationship with Jeremy was the longest one I’d ever had, and I thought we might eventually get married. I had been so very wrong. I felt like an idiot even thinking about how I could have believed something so ridiculous. It had been over a year since he had broken up with me, and I liked to think I had gotten smarter since we parted ways.

Doubts still plagued me, though. Since I hadn’t dated much since Jeremy, I didn’t have any proof to show I had learned from my mistakes. Especially since I was sitting across from the most attractive man I’d ever met. Jeremy might have been a professional model, but West could have made the cover ofPeoplemagazine for being Sexiest Man Alive.

And here I was wasting our night talking about my ex-boyfriends. What was I doing? Was I so rusty at talking with a guy that I had to revert to talking about past relationships?

He had brought up Teddy, but I didn’t think he had signed up to hear about all my dating woes. Or was it a good thing I was tanking this dinner conversation? I needed all the help I could get to keep me from thinking I could actually date West someday. And if he thought I was a killjoy, maybe curbing his interest in me, I’d consider it a win.

“I hate to admit this, but this planned day hasn’t been so bad,” I said, breaking our food eating silence. “But just so you know, my unplanned day will not be so extravagant.”

His brows pushed together as he stared down at his plate. “I’m sorry if it’s been too much. I was only trying to show you that planning could be just as much fun as being spontaneous.”

I hadn’t meant to offend him or have him think I wasn’t enjoying how thoroughly he had planned our day.

I leaned across the table and lightly laid my hand on top of his. “Hey.” I wasn’t sure if it was my touch or my voice that had him looking up at me so quickly—possibly both. “Today has been amazing. Seriously, it couldn’t have been planned any better. Thank you.”

The crease between his eyebrows lessened with each sentence I spoke. The corners of his lips curved. “So you’re saying my day is going to be hard to beat?”

“I didn’t say that,” I countered, taking back my hand. “I said it was the bestplannedday.”

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