He wasn’t worth it.
The baby thrashed and landed a round-house kick to a rib. I pressed against my distended abdomen, trying to relocate the offending foot.
Dylan was off gallivanting around the globe with his girlfriend who had maybe five percent body fat, and wore the skimpiest bathing suits, and scraps of clothing as cover-ups, and here I was half a globe away, a walking FUPA, and hugely pregnant with his second, and clearly unwanted, child.
Terri-Ann rubbed my back as my crying subsided into a fit of hiccups.
“You want a piece of cake?” she asked.
“Please.” I wanted to cram all the cake into my face. Something good had to have come out of the divorce. Right now, the only thing that seemed to come close to fitting that description was the trés leche cake we had to celebrate my new-found marital freedom.
Terri-Ann busied herself around the kitchen pulling cake from the fridge and cutting me an obscenely large piece. My sister knew me, she knew I ate my feelings. And right now my feelings needed to be stuffed down with a cake chaser before Liv came back with her other cousin to see what was going on.
I was practically numb as Terri-Ann slid the cake in front of me, and I dug in. The fork slid into the sponge and the slight compression had milky white droplets form on the exposed edge. I should have been moaning in delighted anticipation.
Instead, I shoveled the piece into my mouth. I did pause in momentary admiration of the cake, so good, but my scarf-face needs were greater.
“You feel like talking about it?” Terri-Ann asked as she started to pick up the remains of my flying laptop.
“Uh, uh,” I grunted around the cake in my mouth. I swallowed and had a fork with more cake ready to replace it. “He’s in Australia with her. He posted a picture. Her bikini was like the size of a Band-aid.”
“Did he say something about the divorce being final?”
“No, he called her his best friend. I was his best friend. It’s like he’s completely forgotten about all those years in college, and the year after graduation when I moved back, and he called me every day to tell me he missed having his best friend around.” I sniffed, and began eating again.“I had been his best friend.” I said around a mouthful of cake.
I had been his best friend, and desperately in love with him.
“When you finish that, why don’t you go wash your face and then take Liv to the park. You can get a little walk in. The fresh air will do you some good.”
I knew Terri-Ann was trying. She didn’t need me weighing her down. She had a family, kids, dogs, husband, chickens, and now she had me and Liv adding to everything. Sending us to the park got us out of her hair for a bit.
I understood. I’d rather make a nest on the couch and watch TV, but a good waddle around the park would probably do more for me than the guilt I would feel after I finished this piece of cake.
CHAPTER2
Liv whinedand fussed as I unbuckled her. She ran herself out at the park and struggled against sleep. I, too, felt like whining, but for vastly different reasons. I wasn’t so tired that I couldn’t stay awake. And that would last well into the wee hours.
Insomnia thought it was my BFF, right alongside heartburn. The two of them kept me up. So yeah, I wanted to whine and be tired. I wanted someone to carry me in from the car. I wanted a nap. I wanted… me, me, me.
Isn’t that why Dylan left? My demands on him and his time were too self-centered. I wasn’t taking his wants and needs into consideration. He didn’t want or need me, how dare I impinge.
A knot formed in my gut. Guilt settled in like a rock, that or the kid was winding up for a roundhouse kick to the bladder.
With a groan, I hefted Liv out of the car. She lay limp as a sodden noodle and heavy as a bag of wet cement across my shoulder.
“Paisley Owens, let me get that for you.”
I couldn’t exactly spin, but I twisted my head around until I could see Nan Weiss striding firmly, if not a little slowly, in my direction.
“Nan Weiss!” I was pleased to see her still up and about. She had been Gran’s neighbor my entire life. “How are you?”
“I’m a sight better than you are, dear.”
I stepped back and gave Nan access to the back of the car. She leaned in and picked up my bag, the empty cup that still rattled with ice, and the crumpled up Sonic bag that smelled of old fries.
“Thank you so much,” I cooed. “I was going to have to make a second trip once I got Liv inside.”
“Terri-Ann told me you were coming for a stay. She mentioned…”