Page 70 of Sigils & Spells

CHAPTER10

Pandora

I couldn’t decide if I should swear off men or just Merle. He had been hurtful. And I was tired of having my feelings destroyed by him. Of course, trying to be an adult about it hadn’t prevented me from balling my eyes out most of the night, and being late to work the next morning.

I left my sunglasses on as I tried to breeze past Claudette’s desk.

“You’re wearing jeans to work. You never wear jeans. Oh, did someone have a little too much fun last night?” she cooed in a teasing voice.

She thought I had a hangover, and not one from crying. And I did wear jeans to work, only they tended to be black and paired with a professional blouse. This morning’s jeans had a natural hole in the knee, and I was wearing a band shirt. I didn’t really care. It was raining out. I was dressed and had on clean undies, and that should have been enough for anyone to expect from me.

I pushed the glasses more firmly on my face. “Wine was involved.”

“I knew it,” she said entirely too loudly.

I winced.

“Solo drinking or…?”

“Solo. I got myself drunk and took advantage of my date. It was a party.” It didn’t sound like I had a good time, and that was the point. I really wanted her to leave me alone.

“Oh good, Pandora, you’re late you know.”

“Yes, Dr. Bronson. I know.”

“Would you please compile a list of everything we have lent and outstanding with Dr. Armitage? I would like to put together my month’s end report.”

Today, his nasal upper crust accent felt like running a cheese grater over my bruised brain.

“Yeah, sure.”

I trudged my way past him and to my desk. After taking my own sweet time to put everything away, messenger bag in the lower desk drawer, coat on the coat rack in the corner, lunch box in the mini fridge in the mini break room next to the bathrooms, I sat at my desk and didn’t really do anything.

I didn’t want to care about anything Merle. And that meant I didn’t want to reach across my desk and grab the file folder where I kept track of everything Merle had checked out, and what copies he had.

I honestly could have handed Dr. Bronson the information he asked for in a matter of seconds. But I didn’t care this morning, so I dragged my feet.

I didn’t want to see Merle’s name, I didn’t want to feel hurt. I didn’t want to overthink it, and worry if I overreacted last night. I had totally overreacted last night. What was I thinking, kicking Merle out? He had as much said he was an idiot when it came to social clues, and then he went and insinuated that I was some kind of tramp— and, no, wait, that was me over-thinking and spinning out of control again.

Maybe he wasn’t trying to out-seduce Darren, maybe that was my own insecurities.

I don’t know how long I stared down at my open hands resting on my legs. I felt so beat. My hands were empty, so was my soul. Not true, my soul was filled with pain. I sniffled. Damn it. I was crying again.

Dr. Bronson cleared his throat. I looked up at his scowl. “The information for my report, Miss Evans.”

Shit, I was in trouble. He never called me Miss Evans. I didn’t really think he had remembered I had a last name.

“Yes, Dr. Bronson, I have the information right here. I just need to—” I stood up as I pulled the file. My hands didn’t want to work properly, and I misjudged what little strength I did have.

The file folder spun out of my grip and crashed to the floor, spilling its contents.

Dr. Bronson watched the whole thing and shook his head before retreating while admonishing my clumsiness. I was about to tell him I just need to write up the notes from this week, and instead I now faced having to pick everything up and resort it all back into order.

The file didn’t simply have a list of documents, it held a copy of everything Merle had requested in case I needed to access it again quickly. All two years of his research wasn’t included, but a good year’s worth was. I had only started to maintain a duplicate after realizing I was pulling the same documents and copies over and over again.

Sitting on my knees on the floor, I looked at all the papers as they were scattered in front of me. The last time I was in this position, Merle had kissed me like he had been wanting to kiss me for a very long time.

I shook my head, I needed to stop thinking about him until I could maybe sit down and talk to him. One of us owed the other an apology. I wasn’t completely convinced it wasn’t me.

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