Page 284 of Sigils & Spells

“Here I am.” I laughed. “Thank you.”

“You know—” he started as he handed me the pizza and six-pack of soda.

“I know.” I tilted my head and asked, “You believe in all that?”

“No.” He scoffed and stiffened his shoulders. “Of course not, but you know…I don’t know.”

“Well, now you do know. I’m here. This is my house now. I will be teaching at the community college, so if you are interested in dystopian literature, be sure to register for my class.”

I was halfway back to the porch when I heard him ask, “What is dystopian literature?”

“Fiction about a dehumanized society. Think post-apocalyptic…likeThe Walking Dead.” I tried to use a reference he may understand rather than the classics.

“All right!” He nodded. “I might do that.”

“See you in class then.” I waved and walked back inside where I enjoyed a couple slices of pizza and a nice cool beverage before securing the doors and heading up for the night.

Put it on.

“Why don’t you put it on?” I snickered. I really cracked myself up sometimes. I knew that the imaginary friends I had over the years were figments of my imagination and the way I processed being a lonely child neglected by her mother. Carmella was not a mom. Never had been. Only wanted to take custody of me when she realized the state gave my grandmother some financial support due to our economic status. Nothing Carmella did was legal so according to her income status she was worse off than my grandmother was.

The male presence laughed at my retort, but seemed to be a bit more contemplative when said, “I can hear you.”

“But can you feel me?” he asked.

“I can feel your energy,” I admitted, “And you’re not the first energy source to communicate with me, so be aware that if you want to play around in my head little voice, you better be ready to play nice because I’m a writer. I will write you right on into a shitty little town where you have a small dick and lick ass for a living. Got it?”

A roar of laughter was heard and I tried not to smile. I swapped the linen and blankets. I would keep this set, but I didn’t know if Lyle would have thought to wash these or just pull them out of the closet and put them on like they hadn’t been in there forever.

As I did this, I considered myself and my imagination could get rambunctious from time to time. When I was little, I had several friends when we lived in this one house. They were older than me, and I learned really fast because they taught me. Taught me how to read, how to dress, how to hide. Someone had to. My parents sure didn’t. When Carmella found me playing school and I explained who my teacher was, she took me to see a doctor.

Not because she cared, but because she hoped they would say I needed more money due to my condition. They said I was an imaginative and advanced child, so it made sense I would make up friends to play with. Instead of finding me lacking, what they found was someone ahead of her peers. That was all my not so loving parents needed to hear. From that day forward, she left me alone in my room so she could go off and fuck someone on camera and whoever was playing the role of my father that week could record it. One of the ways she made money.

Did he record you?

“No!” I shouted at the the empty room. Here I was, in my own home, in the first place that was mine, safe, and…I was still thinking about my childhood and the dangers. I let whatever nosy energy was in this space know this was off limits. “And we don’t talk about that. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“I don’t need a man to protect me. I’m not afraid to be here. I’m just…lonely. Okay? I’m fine.” I said all this as I pulled out my pajamas and headed to the bathroom. I took a shower, pulled on my underwear, shorts, and tank top, then I crawled into bed.

As I turned out the light and settled back into the darkness, the silence, I heard the voice whisper, “What do you need a man to do?”

This time, I laughed out loud. “So. Very. Many. Things.”

Then I closed my eyes and whispered, “But my needs are never met, and my standards are too high, so I gave up trying to find someone to meet them.”

CHAPTER2

This had to be a dream.My eyes opened and it was still night, still dark enough I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, but. My stomach flinched. A slight press of…something. Maybe fingers? Then my shirt was slipping up my torso, above my breasts.

I was torn between what I knew and what I thought. I thought this was a dream. It seemed like a dream. It had to be a dream, right? But I knew that I had never dreamed anything like this before.

A tongue. It was a tongue, and it was on my breast licking up to—I let out a little sound that I wish I hadn’t because that only solidified this was not a dream.

“Whatever you need to think to make it okay.” That voice in my head did not belong to any man I knew in real life. I reached. Found air at first, then I settled into the fact that it was definitely a dream because I would know if there was an actual man in this room with me. In this bed with me.

“That’s it. Just let go. Relax.”

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