Page 164 of Sigils & Spells

What was going on? I looked rough. Big dark circles surrounded my eyes, and my hair which should have been in nice curls after my shower was…large. Dirt and…hopefully just dirt was smeared all over my face and chest, pieces of hay stuck to me comically in random places, and out of my hair at every angle. I looked a little feral, like I’d decided to live the life of chickens for several weeks. I set the bundle down on the closed toilet and finally dropped the flannel. I shoved it into what I assumed to be a dirty clothes basket.

Had I really slept walked all the way here? How long had it been? I didn’t have my phone, so I had no way to check the time, or anything else. I felt completely untethered from reality. And not in a fun way.

There was a lot to unpack about the last couple hours, but I decided to put them on hold when I caught a whiff of myself. Oh boy.

* * *

My skin wasraw by the time I felt clean enough to get out of the shower. I grabbed one of the towels from the bundle on the toilet, carelessly flinging the rest of the clothes onto the ground. I toweled off my hair and face and stepped over the lip of the tub onto the carpet.

I glanced down at the clothes. Not enough fabric. I frowned and picked them up. They looked like workout clothes. Shorts, a tank top and boxers, but the kind that are designed for girls. I made a face. I didn’t want to be stealing her underwear, but it was better than going out in hot pants, dick swinging.

I got dressed quickly, ready to get this misadventure over with. I wanted go home, put on my actual underwear and go back to sleep. I didn't know if the exhaustion stemmed from how stressed I was about the whole situation, or if it was my body reacting to the long, long journey it must have taken to get here. It felt like I’d lived four days since I’d laid down for a nap after my shower that afternoon.

Once dressed I stared at myself in the round mirror. And laughed. I’m sure on Alice the outfit would have been totally acceptable, but since I was considerably taller… the shorts, cinchable around the waist were barely more than booty shorts, and the tank top stopped halfway down my midriff, the ‘Sun’s, Out Guns Out’ message scrawled across the front contrasting ridiculously with my bony shoulders and thin arms. I looked like I’d walked out of the seventies. Not that I had a problem with showing myself off; it just read as a little sluttier than I was used to.

Alice hadn’t returned when I went back out into her apartment, and the cat was nowhere to be seen, so bracing myself for whatever horrors I was about to face, I left the apartment, and climbed the stairs. I paused at the top by the screen door. I could hear sounds on the other side of the door, like someone was in the kitchen. I hoped it was Alice and not my boss, or his very kind apple-faced wife.

Steeling myself, I opened the door.

The smell of cinnamon and apples greeted me from the kitchen. Blaze’s wife, Magnolia stood at a steel counter kneading dough and humming to music I couldn’t quite hear.

She seemed completely unfazed when she saw me. “Hello, Julian!”

I stared at her, not really sure what to do. Magnolia always looked a little like a kind round woman from a picture book and nothing ever seemed to faze her. She took every blow from the universe with a smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder. I’d met her a couple times and she never seemed to change. Not her outfit or her attitude. Magnolia was as constant as a mountain. A far cry from her husband who had a big voice and a temper, but not the bad kind. He was boisterous.

“Well, get over here!” Magnolia smiled at me, motioning with her head at a second pile of dough, as if she’d known I was going to appear. I paused for a second too long and she huffed at me. The huff was enough to get me to the sink to wash my hands and straight to the counter.

“I’m making apple pies for the servers tonight.” she said merrily as I joined her. Again, she didn’t seem at all stunned by my risqué outfit, or my unexplained presence in her house.

I kneaded with her in silence for a few moments, listening to the gentle, but indiscernible music she hummed along too, getting lost in the soft dough and repetitive motion until Alice reappeared suddenly in the doorway, halfway through slinging a messenger bag over her shoulder. She stopped short when she saw me, having clearly been on her way back to the apartment. Pickle Girl looked me up and down and chortled.

“Nice look.” she snorted. “Come on, I have class in less than an hour so we’ve gotta go.”

I looked at her dumbly with floury hands. “Class?”

“Yeah, like college. Com’on, Hot Pants.”

Magnolia gave me a big grin as I washed my hands and wished me well.

“Good fortune, Julian,” she said in a sing-song as I followed Alice out the front door which opened onto a big wrap-around porch and down the creaky front steps. A couple of rusted trucks sat on the long gravel driveway. The small girl led me to a rust covered canary yellow truck with one wheel in the junkyard. She tossed her bag in through the window.

“Do you have any friends at Rodeo Blaze right now? Could someone there take you home?” Alice asked as she clambered up into the driver’s seat.

“Uh…” I stood stupidly outside the car. I felt exposed in the outfit, with a good three inches of my stomach exposed and I couldn’t imagine the shorts left enough up to the imagination.

“Get in.” she patted the dashboard like she was inviting me up onto the back of a horse. I obliged and climbed into the passenger’s side, moving my feet away from aBiology 104: The Study of Cellular Evolutiontextbook that sat on the ground. The dashboard of her car was decorated with stickers and a handful of sparkly trinkets dangled from the rearview mirror. It was cluttered, but smelled nice, the same summery strawberry smell as Alice’s apartment.

“My roommate is the shift manager tonight. I can go home with him.”

Alice nodded absent mindedly.

I buckled in as Alice peeled out of the driveway.

“I call her the Bannanamobile.” Alice said without looking at me, patting the dash by the steering wheel. Her driving was hectic, and her turns made me feel like she was about to launch me into a low orbit. I grabbed the “Oh shit” handle as she drove. I didn’t know what to say. So, for a moment, I didn’t say anything.

Now that we were in the car, I could see the time. It was only 6. I must not have been asleep for very long at all. At least not before apparently walking myself all the way here. I tried to think of the distance as Alice drove. I’d only been out here properly clothed like twice, but the apartment must have been like 15 or twenty minutes from Blaze’s farm. No way. I wouldn’t want to make that walk even if I was wearing underwear.

A thought occurred to me. I opened my mouth and said, “Thank you, by the way,” at the exact same moment that she said, “Hey, do you want to go on a date?”

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