Page 9 of Shot Through the Heart

Was the accident really all it took to shatter that level of trust?

Before I can linger down that train of thought, Stella lets out a heavy exhale and faces me again.

“Just give me a minute to get a drink.”

Turning on her heels, she crosses back toward the counter, not once looking back. Meanwhile, my eyes never stray from her as she places her order and waits for her drink. Even with a riot of emotions coursing through me, I can’t help but admire her backside as she faces away from me. I try to focus on what the hell I’m actually doing. She gave me an out, two in fact. Yet I still refused to let her go.

This might be the same woman who left without a single word. The person who made it impossible for me to open up or feel like I did before.

But I’ll be damned if I pass on this opportunity to find outwhy.

Not knowing is what’s kept me up most nights. Wondering what I did or didn’t do. Trying to figure out how I could have made her stay or if any of it was real. Now is my chance to get that answer. All while doing what Lucy suggested to help soften my image.

While Stella makes her way back to me, I try to convince myself those are my only reasons. I was already reluctant to hire someone who will likely be painted as my girlfriend by the media, so why would I drag this process out any longer? It would all be a ruse, a job. No one else would know that I’m using it as a chance to finally find closure and get part of myself back.

I shove down the nagging voice telling me that I’m lying to myself. Instead, as she sits down across from me, invading my senses with her light floral scent, everything blurs. Past and present, truth and lies, logic and desire all start to mesh together.

Even as she pulls out the contract and keeps things strictly professional, I repeatedly tell myself that my decision not to turn Stella away is for closure and workonly. That this contract has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’ve felt more in the past five minutes than I have in the last five years.

And even if I know that I’m setting myself up to be hurt all over again, there’s no stopping me from signing my name on the dotted line of that contract.

ChapterFour

STELLA

“I brought wine,chips, and three different dips,” Eva says when I open the door to let her and her five-year-old sister, Zoey, in.

“I got stickers!” Zoey says, lifting the bag in her hand just like Eva did with hers before darting around me. Harper squeals and I turn in time to watch her abandon the building blocks to greet Zoey with a hug.

“Sorry, I tried to talk her out of stickers but clearly lost that fight,” Eva says while slipping off her sandals.

“It’s fine. Stickers are a part of life at this point.” I shrug. I’ve gotten used to finding them stuck everywhere. The only time I’ve ever stepped in was when Harper tried putting some on my nicest pair of high heels. Then we had to set ground rules for where they can and can’t go.

Mommy’s forehead? Sure. Her car seat? Why not? But anything in my room, the kitchen, or anything we need to eat? Nope.

“And that is something I am just now learning.” Eva tries to laugh, but it sounds more like a strangled sigh.

“How are you holding up?” I ask as we cross through the living room, avoiding blocks and toys of all kinds with every step. Something I learned early on is that it’s pointless trying to clean up toys while Harper is awake. She’ll see me putting them away, only to decide that is the exact thing she wants. Typically, once she goes to bed, I’ll do a quick run-through and tidy up, but they all come back out the next day. I’ve accepted the fact that the living room is her main playroom. Which makes it easy to watch her while I do work or cook in the other room.

The downstairs of the townhouse is an open floor plan, so we can keep an eye on the girls while still out of their earshot from the kitchen. The breakfast bar attachment on the counter is one of my favorite places to decompress while Harper plays every night.

The townhouses are decent, not as up to date as I would have expected considering the price of rent each month. However, the things that matter are all intact and the structure is solid. I might have gone a little over the top with the deep clean before moving us in, but it was worth it. I’ve never had a place like this all to myself. I went right from graduating high school and moving out of my parents’ mostly empty house, to living with my nana. Yes, I will always be grateful for the security and help she has given me, for the savings I was able to build while having a baby and going to school all because she never once let me pay rent or bills.

This place might not be perfect, but it’s all mine and Harper’s.

Plus, we’re only a few doors down from Eva and Zoey, which makes weekly play dates very easy. It also gives me a chance to actually check in with my friend. Over the last year, she not only lost her mom unexpectedly, but she also took on the role of guardian for her sister. Of course she did so without hesitation or second-guessing the decision. However, it doesn’t make the loss or change any easier for her.

“Better now that summer is over and kindergarten has started. I feel like we actually have a routine in place again.” She sets the bag on the counter and pulls everything out while I grab two wine glasses. As we set up and take our seats, she updates me on how Zoey is adjusting before switching gears and giving work updates.

“That reminds me, I brought two new books for you that we just published,” she states while dipping a chip into the warmed up queso.

“Oh, you are my favorite little smut smuggler. Please tell me one of them is Lilly Matthews’ new book!”

“You bet your sweet butt it is.” She grins, reaching behind her and pulling them out from her bag. “Remind me to make you tag along for the next girls’ night so you can meet her.”

My eyes widen at that. “I forgot she’s local!”

“Yup. And she’s best friends with Paige.” Eva grins. “The other book is a bit more…dark than you’re used to. But I helped proofread it after editing and my goodness. Ivy Rose makes me blush with her mafia men.”

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