Page 65 of My Secret to Protect

My bags are packed and next to me on the deck, and when Arlo finally steps outside, I tell him I want to leave. He doesn’t respond; just heads inside to pack up his things before we climb into the truck and set out on the trip back to town.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says as he drives, but I keep my focus on the scenes passing by the window. ‘Last night shouldn’t have…’

‘Save it,’ I cut him off. I don’t want to hear it.

‘Bree.’

‘Arlo,’ I snap, turning to glare at him. ‘There’s nothing you can say to make that okay, so just shut up.’

He does, and so do I, turning back to the window to hide the tears in my eyes.

TheairinsideArlo’shouse is stifling, not just because it’s been all shut up in the heat for a few days but also because of what happened at the cabin. I can’t be here with him anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I would rather face whatever Nolan is planning alone than be near Arlo for even a second more. Every rejection breaks my heart all over again, but this. It’s crushing. It’s humiliating.

‘I need to take a shower,’ I say as I stomp up the stairs to the bathroom. Arlo doesn’t respond except to call Beans back from following me up.

In the shower, my tears mix with the water and wash away the moment they fall, but they keep falling.

I couldn’t bring myself to shower at the cabin after what happened. I just wanted to wait for him to be ready to leave, so that’s what I did, but now, washing the traces of last night from my body, my heart is crushed. For those blissful moments, I thought I had him back. Losing him again, the venomous expression on his face, the anger in his voice, it’s devastating. I can’t be around him. I have to get out.

As I make my back down from the guest room with my bags in my hands, I find Arlo sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, but I walk past him to the front door. Finding it locked, I grip the handle.

‘Where’s the key?’

I hear him take a breath before answering. ‘What are you doing?’ His voice is low, he sounds tired, like he doesn't have the energy to even talk to me and that's fine by me, I don't want to talk, I just want to leave.

‘I’m leaving because I can’t do this with you anymore. I’m going home.’

‘You can’t leave.’

‘Like hell, I can’t. You don’t even want me around, Arlo. So let me save you from having to suffer any more of this. You go back to your nice little life in the city. I’ll handle my shit myself.’

‘Like you were doing?’ He stands, and once more, the stature of the man astounds me, but I look away.

‘You son of a bitch,’ I mutter, angry. ‘What did I ever do to you for you to despise me the way you do?’

Releasing a single laugh, he shakes his head.

‘Don’t.’ Turning away from me, he walks toward the kitchen, and I drop my bag to follow, finally ready to get some answers.

‘Nah, it’s time. Because I’ve had twenty years wondering why you cut me out of your life and now these past months of seeing how you flinch when I get too close, but last night, up there,’ I point to the door, knowing he knows I mean the cabin, ‘that shit is way out of line, Arlo.’

‘I said sorry.’ I hear the words, but the tone doesn’t match. He knows that’s not enough.

‘It doesn’t cut it,’ I yell, the tears coming no matter how hard I try to stop them. ‘I loved you, and you broke my heart. You cut me off with no explanation and then just showed up here pretending to date me and trying to be my goddam hero, and I’m confused as fuck.’

‘Ibrokeyourheart? Are you fucking kidding me?’

‘I loved you. I loved you so much, and you cut me off like I meant nothing. I would have waited for you. I would have done anything for you, given up anything for you, but you didn’t give me the chance.’

‘Because I know what you did!’ he yells back in a way that has Beans cowering and backing under the dining table.

‘What? What did I do?’

‘Don’t open this wound, Bree,’ he warns, his voice serious as he braces his hands on the countertop.

‘It’s fucking open, Arlo. It’s been open. It never fucking closed. What did I do?’

‘Bree…’

---